Game and Lasting Satisfaction

Most people really don’t know what to look for, because they don’t know what’s possible.
There’s no accounting for some people’s taste. As my wife and I walked into the supermarket today, a very attractive young mom (kids in tow) coming out locked eyes with me and held the contact a long time, smiling brightly as she drew even with me. Nothing more happened. There’s a chance it meant nothing at all, but statistically this was hypergamy in action. Who’s to say she was all that conscious of it? It won’t ever matter because I’m not in the market.
I suppose it’s possible my sense of peace and comfort with life in general, my overwhelming self-confidence in my mission, might cause some women to mistake me for an Alpha. When you start early in life aiming at self-honesty, it tends to build up that sense of knowing who you really are. Without that ability to look deep in the mirror of my own soul, I would never have had such a powerfully satisfying marriage. I would never have had so many people asking my advice and counsel about their marriages. We are talking in the hundreds of people asking me about such things. When you are comfortable with your own life, people tend to think you might have some idea how you got there, and could help them figure out theirs.
If any part of what you tell them pans out, they’ll come back again. A good portion of those who asked once asked more later. This only reinforces the sense of self-confidence. But what others have had to say in the manosphere about Game has helped fill in a lot of blanks, or offered better ways to think consciously, and say what I knew instinctively. I have marriage satisfaction, the kind of good thing most Christians claim to seek from God as a major element of their earthly existence. I’m in a much better position these days to explain why and how.
Were I in the market, I still would be hesitant about that very pretty young mother. Such aggressive behavior is flattering, but the context is a red flag. She knew nothing about me, but was willing to flirt, as it were — while I had one hand on my wife. That sort of risk-taking behavior is a strong indicator she was a predator of sorts, a rather head-strong woman. That’s the kind that rips a man’s heart out and throws it back in his face. Yeah, I’m just guessing, but it’s an experienced guess from all the couples I’ve talked to over the years. I knew before I got serious about marriage that appearances were deceiving.
A critical element in human failure is self-deception arising from human frailty. Because so few people know themselves, and so few learn from past experiences in the realm of romance, lots of marriages are built on a very shaky foundation. They figured they felt in love today, and maybe for two whole weeks, so let’s get married. Cathexis is a fearful master, and an utterly unreliable servant. But genuine attachment and passion are separate entities, and naturally arise from propinquity. It’s how humans react. We become deeply attached to anyone we don’t feel we have to kill, and we extend that in varying degrees to non-humans.
If you realize that going into marriage, you can take the time to choose someone who actually matches your real needs and desires. That is, assuming you have made some effort to know them. Not what turns you on, but what keeps you coming back for more. A pretty face and shapely figure just isn’t that much to go on, and in our modern life of massive and pervasive pollution throughout the food chain and everywhere around us, those things fade quickly. What really matters is tied to something much deeper in our souls.
In general, a man who knows why he’s alive on this earth is a good man. Just getting that far is quite an accomplishment, when you consider all the cultural factors seeking to prevent him even thinking that much. The man who figures out this much is pretty persistent where it matters most. Not that he can’t drift from one thing to the next, but that there is a recognizable thread of purpose. When he knows himself, he knows what he really needs, and is more likely to be satisfied when he gets it. The rest is just mechanics and entertainment.
I’ve not encountered too many men who are that way, but most can get there when given a chance to see the importance of it. Precious few women are even close to what makes a good woman. That so many do seem to hit something acceptable by accident and instinct is the only reason there are what few good marriages we do see. Expose a man to Game Theory and he gets it without much struggle. Women typically choke on it. That’s because they wrote the mythology which traps both sexes in the current wasteland of confusion.
Women respond to a strong and confident man. That’s hard wired, and is the number one factor. The rest is just a matter of taste and timing. Her internal wiring reads that man as a good provider and protector; good breeding material. She has to catch his attention. If any part of her perceives a shortage of such manhood, she’ll instinctively strive to keep the one she catches. The only trade is trading up — hypergamy. If she’s conscious of these things, she can avoid a ton of heartache by making a wise start. If she wants to improve what she’s got, she’ll have to learn how to cultivate her own man’s manhood.
Any man can be improved by the proper treatment of a good woman. She can literally make him more of a man by understanding manliness and her own response to it. Her artful promotion of him in public is half of that. The other half is understanding he is not the enemy when she senses there is something she needs he’s not giving. It’s utterly wrong for her to assume she knows what’s best for him, in the sense she can tell him what to do without first winning his confidence in the issue at hand. If she’s not willing to sacrifice in some rather obvious ways, she can’t win that confidence. Nagging is a demonstration of distrust in his good nature, as if he were some enemy to fight.
Any man can make his woman better by first ignoring what she says. That is, most women use subtext, and refuse to recognize men don’t. If he can read that stuff, good for him. Otherwise, he should focus on what she does. Pay attention to what she actually responds to by careful testing, so you can then understand how to give her what she really needs to feel like a good woman. She will act what she feels. It’s typically counter-intuitive for men, who tend to be direct about things. Never let her feel dominant; never supplicate. If she won’t cooperate, do what you like and show her she’s not in charge, but always turn off your passion in doing so — purely reasonable and total aplomb is your greatest strength. Meanwhile, accept her weaknesses as they are, and seek for ways to make her stronger where it counts.
The ultimate sexual satisfaction is not what most people assume. Getting your rocks off is just a temporary measure. What you really need is someone who keeps the fire burning, keeps you wanting more of the same. That’s an art too few couples understand, or are willing to put in the effort. For the man, the ultimate sexual fantasy is really one thing: She’s into it, into him. Nothing is better than a woman who wants you enough to initiate sex herself. For her, there is only one true path to sexual fulfillment, and that’s absolute surrender. Sounds easy unless you are a woman. Her intelligent move is finding a man she can trust that much, someone who dominates in the way it calls forth her surrender. Such a man knows what he wants and pays the price to get it.
Without knowing anything except what your eyes could see, had you been with me today and compared that pretty young mom with my wife, you’d wonder why I stayed with her. She’s not physically attractive to most guys. And it means exactly nothing to me, because I know what’s inside that plain wrapper — a treasure few men even know can exist in any woman at all. I’d have to let her tell you what she finds inside my wrapper, but she’s not a writer. You can be sure it’s not a matter of money, because she stays with me knowing I prefer some degree of poverty. If she wanted to leave, she could take just about everything without hiring a lawyer, and she knows it. Whatever it is she sees in me, I seriously doubt any other woman would know just by looking.
It’s absolutely necessary you understand how your eyes and hormones will deceive you, and take the moment to listen to some other part of you if you want a good marriage.