A few months back I was inspired. Yes, it truly was the hand of God. There was no option for saying, “Nah, I’d rather not.” It was a powerful move of the spirit.
After spending some time in contemplation and prayer, I made my best estimate of what God required and shared the idea. That sharing was part of the inspiration. Had you asked, I could have told you at the time neither the project, the participation, nor the product was likely to be the point of it all, as things are measured in the Spirit Realm. The point was all of those and none of them. The point cannot be expressed in human language.
So I announced the project here on this blog and got some enthusiastic response. Promises were made and we all shared with some enthusiasm how it would go and how it would turn out. I kept the door wide open, as best I was able. A few kept their promises, but for others, reality set in. That is, their initial willingness and enthusiasm met some interference. Some bailed altogether, some part way through, some right at the very end. Reality is like that. I failed some, too.
Did God fail? Don’t even go there. Did I get a false vision? Wrong question. The human component of this tale is loaded with failures. The biggest failure was the expectation God was going to do something we each and together thought He should do. Our visions were not all the same, nor could they be. Still, the project went through to completion and produced the book, The Mind of Christ. If I listen to any part of my human feelings, I would be frankly angry with some of the contributors, and surely with those who made promises they didn’t keep. But then, I would also be angry at myself. And I was, but the anger means nothing, just as the failures do. The anger was a shadow I easily dismissed.
Nor was I expecting this book to change the world. Do you know, just over a hundred people have downloaded a copy from Smashwords? I wonder how many actually read it, how many understand it, how many believe any part of it. Were they even a factor? Yes and no. I may never know.
For me, I suppose I can say it started something in the form of provoking me to rewrite my old material and publish as books. That’s the business of the Ancient Truth series of books. At the same time, I have not received so much as a penny from any of them. Not even a donation, since the books are all free. And I don’t care. It won’t look good on LinkedIn, but I don’t care about that either. And on Facebook, everyone still acts like I can’t be there as a prophet, only a buddy they want to yack at now and then. I suppose a few people still take my prophetic ministry seriously, on some level, but most remain firmly in the airhead territory.
That’s okay. The books, the ministry, the vast outpouring of blather here on the blog — it’s all shadows. Read the post before this one.
It’s all one big failure, if you see it with human eyes. If I were humanly successful, I’d be an even bigger failure in the Spirit Realm, though. The Spirit tells me the books are what He wants. He makes me at peace with them and the amount of time I am able to put into them. He makes me at peace with the apparent broad lack of human interest in all of it. Something in this pierces the shadows, and most of my conscious mind will never understand a bit of it.
And if you read this far, maybe there’s a piercing of shadows for you. Enjoy.
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I regret that I couldn’t contribute more to the effort this last year. I know it was a direct result of not living our lives according to the direction of the Lord. It looks like by mid-year we will be able to make the leap to obedience (though I believe we’d be provided for if we made that leap now, I’m not the only one involved in making these decisions). I have faith that once we are more in obedience I will be able to contribute more to this effort.
Even though we are in a homechurch that is more rooted in the Lord than anything else I can find in the area, and they are blessed with spiritual success in many endeavors, they still have a great deal of Western thought mixed in. This makes it hard to get your things read. Though I’m chipping away at it as much as I can, I have to do it through the women’s side, for the most part.
I reply for the sake of readers, not because I think you need it. You, of all people, should understand I had no intention of stirring up guilt, because I stand most guilty of all. In human terms, my failure was the greatest.
Insofar as we follow any dreams of changing others in this world, we are far out on the filament point of something huge that the world needs. We aren’t alone, but lacking a common terminology with others in this fight, it’s pretty hard to search the Net for kindred souls. To the degree a larger human response is even possible, it’s probably a ways off, and impatience will kill us. I note the Apostles did not want to waste writing materials collecting notes on all the times and places when things didn’t happen as they carried the gospel across the Mediterranean Basin. Yet we know they invested countless hours of their lives between the various highlights they did record. Their sense of urgency was of a quality still foreign to our world.
Far more important than getting people to read my stuff is getting your own soul to read your own story of the same discoveries. I have the honor and burden of putting these things into words others may use to get there, or use to give shape to some thoughts already circulating in their own souls. The people who do the most with what I write will walk away with their own version. But I keep writing to fill the space between discovering the light and shining your own. Use my words only when you conclude they would have been your own had you come ahead of me on the same path.