Spiritual Introversion

Humanity is both highly varied and generally predictable.
So while you could propose something like the MBT Personality Inventory, it will only go so far, utterly failing to set forth the truly critical issues of human nature. That’s because the MBT completely rejects the Spirit Realm and refuses to account for how the Holy Spirit can change common human traits. My connection to the Spirit Realm falsifies the MBT in some of the most important aspects of trying to figure out what to expect from me.
For example, I am an introvert. But while there is some overlap with common traits of introverts, not all of them apply.
If you consume too much of me, I’ll avoid you. I can pastor anyone who’s hurting. Pour it out; you can trust me to keep it under my hat. If you really want advice, you’ll get it. It will be the unvarnished truth, at least insofar as I have any ideas. Otherwise, I can let you vent for awhile and I’ll feel your pain. But I can’t afford to absorb too much of it.
I despise most common forms of entertainment. I can’t stand to watch embarrassment humor. You won’t get me to watch ten seconds of things like I Love Lucy. That’s not funny to me. When I watch people being embarrassed or harassed, I get dangerous. I can restrain myself most of the time. There are some things I can take up to a point, but you’ll have to ask if you need details.
You can put me in a roomful of people and I’ll do okay. I’ll feel isolated, but I’m used to that, comfortable with it. Unless I’m in charge, it’s better if I wait to see what’s going on. I’m not likely to jump into any conversations unless I feel a sense of mastery. It’s not fear; I’m not going to waste your time. Give me a heads up and I’ll go along with anything that makes of fool of me. I don’t take myself that seriously. Put me on the spot or attempt to entertain yourself by making of fool of me without my permission, and you’ll never get a chance to do it again. I might laugh it off; I can forgive, but I’ll completely write you off permanently. That’s a violation of trust. I don’t need people like that; nothing they have could possibly be that valuable to me.
My emotions are my business and I tend to keep them to myself. Precious few are the people allowed to see them. In that sense, I’m not that interested in yours, either. You can’t possibly be that interesting to me. I’ll listen to some things, but don’t attempt to make me part of any crowd, something I’ll never be.
Don’t you dare attempt to make me join something outside my range. You’ll get hurt. I am hostile to your assumption anyone can do anything if they just want to. I despise beyond words those nifty manipulative retreat programs so common among churches. Maybe I can do it, but if I don’t want to, you are unforgivably evil for demanding it. It’s not the same thing as an accident or unanticipated bad results. When God throws the curve ball, I’ll be there and suffer with you. But If you can’t trust me enough that you have to hide things as a means to controlling my behavior, you might as well wear horns and carry a trident. We will never be friends.
I’m okay with large groups of people. I can get up to preach and I’m willing to bet I’ll hold your attention for at least a little while. I have no shame. Stage presence is not a skill but a talent for me. I am comfortable taking charge and addressing thousands at once. No sweat; I’ll deliver.
I can also take charge of an informal gathering and be okay for a while. Even if they are interested in what I have to say, I still run out of psychic energy after a couple of hours. Change the group and I can hit it again for one, maybe two more sessions.
Then I need to go away and rebuild whatever it was I spilled out on the larger group. I’ll give all I’ve got, but when I run out, it takes me awhile to rebuild. If I don’t get some solitary time, you will come to hate me very quickly. I will make you miserable, unless I simply withdraw into a protective shell.
If I find you unsympathetic, I’ll never trust you. I won’t hate you, but I’ll avoid you. It’s not a matter of feelings. I understand you are wired differently than I am and I’ll avoid inflicting myself on you. Push yourself on me too hard and I could conceivably become dangerous. I might be sad about having to force the issue, but I won’t regret it. Ever.
This is why I say things about not letting people threaten my mission. My mission includes spending solitary time communing with the Spirit Realm to keep fresh what I bring to the world.
My wife is my best friend, but she’s not a man, and I’m not a woman. I would love to have one single best buddy, but I don’t right now. It’s okay. I realize the Lord has taken me into the most rarefied atmosphere and there simply aren’t that many out there who can handle it. They aren’t lesser, just different.
But we can become friends. All you have to do is want it bad enough to tolerate my quirks. You’d be amazed at what I can tolerate, because it’s my nature to do so. Only when you get close enough to be a problem will I warn you that you need to choose between change or distance. As long as you can handle me, we can be pals. You can disappear for years, and then come back and pick up where you left off and I’m cool with that. I will never make you feel guilty about failing to answer letters, etc.
So if you seek my loyalty, it’s definitely available and generally permanent. For me, friendship simply is. You can invest in it and get back rich rewards, but maintenance is not an issue. For me, it’s rooted in that Other Realm, so it will outlast both of us. With my loyalty, you can ask things I refuse to do for others, things I already know will fail spectacularly. I’m not worried about success, but there is a certain measure of what I do that will never, ever be surrendered to another person or group. Some things belong to the Spirit Realm.
That Other Realm is a major preoccupation. My business there will cause me to do some of the weirdest things you’ll ever see in this realm. I’ll sing, talk to myself and seem quite mentally off at times. I don’t care. I find this realm unworthy. The only reason I’m still here is I know that God has a mission for me.
Some of that is common to all introverts, but some of it is purely Spirit and won’t fit on any personality inventory.