As Westerners, we simply cannot imagine the alien feel of Ancient Near Eastern (ANE) social interaction.
The depth of perversion in our Western social mythology makes it nearly impossible to wade through the vast mountains of crap to see the truth. ANE folks might be well aware of the emotions in someone else, but they seldom cater to those emotions. Even in the presence of earthly authority, cowering was morally unacceptable, regardless of how often folks might have done it. Nobody cares what a quisling offers. Due honor is best rendered by someone who does not fear an honorable death. Moral truth has always been more important than life itself. Our Western version of noble courage is just a hair’s breadth from insolence because it builds on an entirely false premise. The entire social fabric of the West is built on the fear of death.
Westerners do pay lip service to the idea of facing death with courage, but it’s not at all the same moral concept as in the ANE. The complexity of the whole question takes books to answer. Not least is the complication of how the two civilizations used language itself. We read too much into the words, whereas the ANE folks used words to conjure imagery not always meant literally. Hyperbole was actually polite in some instances, whereas Westerners see it as dishonest. Still, we can pick out single issues here and there to illustrate the vast oceans of difference.
The question before us: How do we adopt the biblical moral background and make it work in our current situation? Some of our words and actions must conform to prevailing norms merely as a means of communication. If we don’t speak the language, there is no message. At the same time, our message must demand a change so fundamental as to remain somehow alien even as we make it clear. More than art, this is the work of the Holy Spirit speaking through us to declare His truth to the world.
If I say we have to serve in humility, that does not contradict the need for blunt statements that are certain to bring emotional distress. Speaking the truth is a humble service. Humility is the flavor of our delivery of that truth. Thus, I often remind readers here that you need not take me seriously; I am not some genius seeking to lead. I am a servant seeking to point out things you might not have noticed before. I want to help, but you have to take that step for yourself, and it has to be your own individual path before the Lord. I am not good enough to be your model, but I cannot avoid serving as an indicator of things God wants to reveal about Himself.
Thus, I would indicate to you that it’s a mistake to conflate humility with fearfully placating someone’s feelings. Humility is acting as if we aren’t too important to do whatever mundane task stands before us. It’s the call to divine justice setting things right in some small way because big ways aren’t open to us. We aren’t quick to talk about what’s on our minds because we aren’t that important. We don’t command an audience at our whims. But when someone asks, we answer with bold honesty the best we know at that moment. We may not know the answers to all the world’s problems, but we know what God demands of us.
Thus, we speak with all the authority of Daniel and his friends before Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 3). The emperor asked what deity could save them from the furnace. Daniel said it wasn’t for him to correct the emperor, but he was confident that Jehovah could handle it. If their God chose otherwise, it didn’t change their resolve to serve the One who held their ultimate fate in His hands. Better it was to die in peace with Jehovah at the price of war with all humanity and every other deity that might exist.
A significant portion of humanity today has a huge appetite for emotional drama. In Western social mythology, this has been raised to the status of deity. A high portion of contact from other humans will be as much a matter of seeking fresh drama as anything else. Fundamental to our response is our alienation from that very thing. Drama should be merely the flavoring we use to communicate, not the substance of our existence. You are not at all responsible to God for the feelings of another, nor their personal sense of entitlement. You are responsible to Him for breathing His justice into every context. Practice allowing the drama to blow away like an obscuring mist in the breath of God’s clarity.
The proper mixture of firmness and gentleness is a matter of your calling in the context. Your word choice will reflect who you are in Christ and your sense of the moment. However, your answer is all about God’s truth, not anyone’s feelings. Our modern sense of being nice is entirely too dependent on the bogus feeling factor. Resist that lie.
Be alert for Satan’s flaming missiles of false guilt regarding nicey-nicey.
