Pastoral Note: Changes

It’s not for me to say whether, or how, it will affect any of you, dear readers and parishioners. For me, there are changes. In ways large and small, we live in the time of Peleg again (Genesis 10:25). It’s a delicious Hebrew understatement about the days of Peleg; it was the days when the tectonic plates all shifted, shattering the primordial land masses to form our current continents.

I want you to understand something about the way I write for this blog. I was once a good ole Baptist preacher boy, faithful and true to that part of American culture. I knew something was wrong — lots of things — but I figured it was me. I just needed to knuckle down and obey the rules. But I couldn’t, and didn’t, and the system refused to take me seriously even when I did. I drifted through a few other denominational groups before I realized I didn’t belong to any of them. I could still work with certain organizations here and there, but I didn’t belong in the system. Many small steps mixed with a few big leaps, and I left the system altogether. Some ties took longer to cut. And frankly, I believe there are a few left. I don’t cut until it becomes obvious it’s necessary.

Somewhere along the path, my soul was liberated from a bondage of lies. I discovered that a lot of truth was already in me, but buried under deception. The Holy Spirit works that way. When He raises you to life, you get all of Him. You spend the rest of your days here on earth discovering what He is for you, plunging into the Realm of the Spirit to find the path marked with your DNA. With the help of others I meet here and in meat space, I discover more of the path, more of the spiritual land I’m supposed to occupy for His glory. The truth was there inside of me all along; I just had to discover it. So when someone presents something that God intends be part of my soul, it’s simply a matter of recognizing the truth.

This blog is the narrative of my discovery. Sometimes I wonder if what I am trying to get across actually comes out my words. As I noted previously, all I can do is try to describe what I experience, in hopes that some of it might sound familiar to you, too. Some of what I’ve written in the past couple of weeks are fresh discoveries. Sometimes I discover the truth in the writings of others; sometimes I discover it in their questions. It’s been there all along, but until you bump the trash aside, intentionally or accidentally, I might not have bothered to explore that issue. Sometimes I discover stuff while I am in the process of writing it. Poking around in my soul, trying to find the right words or the right image, itself tends to open up surprises. Yet it always seem so obviously consistent with what I already have.

Some of you drew close when my story sounded like yours. When I moved too far away, you left or simply stopped paying attention. It was a joy to share that moment with you. My life is better for that moment of overlap. Whether or not I have warm feelings for you is another matter; God lets nothing pass over me that isn’t in His best interest. And what serves His interest is my interest by definition. Stay with me as long as He uses me to bless you. Move on when that doesn’t happen any more. That is only good and morally right.

As you might expect, the same is true of non-human influences, too. It’s also true of politics, economics, etc. Peleg saw an entirely new landscape between his birth and death. But even if I experienced the same thing literally, I can tell you it’s much more important to note that my world figuratively is being transformed before my eyes. I won’t bore you with the thousands of little things that changed with our without my fingerprints, but the changes are mandated by a higher power. Some of what I’ve discovered recently has fit me for a different mission. I have only vague notions of what that looks like, but the operations in my heart are huge and my brain just hasn’t quite caught onto it all.

So here is Brother Ed warning you: I don’t know what’s coming, but it’s huge. I don’t anticipate this blog going away. I do anticipate you’ll notice big changes for me. I cannot imagine how some of you will escape experiencing some of it in your own lives. Maybe you’ve already begun to notice. As always, I’m here for you.