Over the years since my formal conscious departure from social convention, I’ve often found myself still dragging the weight of false conditioning. My mental reflexes are still wrong in so many ways. That in itself was a source of great sorrow until I was seized by the realization that holiness is in the sensitivity, not the success. Righteousness is the willingness to learn in the heart and teach the mind. This is part of why I insist that you not take my word on things, because while I’m utterly convinced God will not permit my silence, I’m also quite certain I’ll say some things that you need to ignore.
That is, don’t pay so much attention to the ostensible meaning of what I write here, but see through the exercise of writing and reading to discern the thread of heart-led operation. Some of those heart-led revelations from God can shock my mental reflexes, and create a sense of emergency where there is none. The change in my own realizations filled me with and urgency that was wholly internal. I deeply regret all the times that flaw led me to write things in a tone that implied you folks needed to take some hasty action. Again, please see through my words and follow your own heart, because I’m not sure there is any way I can change the way I express things here.
I’m quite sure I’m not alone. The vast weight of God’s glory and holiness disorients human flesh. We see quite often in Scripture where some messenger of God was so deeply enthralled by the unearthly sensory data that it overwhelmed their heart’s leash on the mind. This is why at the transfiguration of Jesus (Matt. 17, Mark 9 & Luke 9:28ff) that we see the apostle blabbering silly things about shrines. I know exactly how he felt in that moment.
I’ve been blabbering for years about a time of tribulation coming. That part I got right, because it’s here. The impact on my soul at every fresh reminder often led me to jump the gun on what I should do about it, and it showed up in what I wrote at the time. This is where I remind you: Don’t follow me. I’m lost, too. I was often ready to erect a shrine, but that’s because I really hadn’t seen much, only the beginning of things. It was all fresh and new to me, and I hope I never lose that sense of wonder.
This is exactly the opposite of what The Cult is doing to the rest of the world that knows little or nothing of heart-led existence. They keep piling on new shocks, but not of the holy kind. Rather, they are shocks calculated entirely on the basis of human senses and logic. They throw outrages at us, knowing that the majority of humanity will get all riled up until, at some point, the excitement wears off. And then the shocking evil becomes routine. Meanwhile, The Cult has been threading into our cultural expectations a whole new set of false expectations so they can shock us again later on. The Cult could care less about the moral content of all this; the cycle of shock and jading is the whole point. It serves to trivialize the divine revelation of God’s moral character.
Now we come to the point where you have to work out your own implications. There will be tribulation: war, disease, deprivation, and unimaginable bloodshed. In some ways it’s nothing new to human memory, but some of it will be quite new to our senses individually. Even the wisest will be momentarily surprised by what they see, if only because none of us is allowed to keep track of what’s really going on. It’s not that truth can actually be hidden, but that the price of access becomes rather high. Access to the real truth in one particular area of human activity will consume too much of you to enable a wider awareness, so there will always be surprises for each of us.
Oddly enough, this is how God works with us. Since none of us can see what He sees, He parcels His truth out into manageable chunks for each of us. You have your calling and I have mine. To the degree we overlap, we can fellowship with, or at least entertain, each other. Feel free to laugh at me, because I sometimes do that when I look in the mirror, so you would only be laughing with me. Take seriously the business of revealing God in your life.
