Our dear Sister has a marvelous sweet rant I wish everyone could read. I want you to notice she never suggests other folks are morally wrong for bathing in this electromagnetic sewage, but that we do so at a high price. I can only agree with it.
My natural inclination is to hide away in the woods and harvest nature’s bounty from the trees. My natural inclination is to insist you join me in that environment so we can talk and worship together. My natural inclination is to leave behind everything that my mission requires of me here in the virtual parish, except for that real sense of communion. Did you ever wonder why I love riding my bike so much?
But I find myself in a place where there are several computers and multiple strong sources of electromagnetic emissions. I will tell you that the new router has such a potent wifi signal that I had to turn it off and network in an older and less potent wifi router just for that purpose. I still have to use the wifi, but that massive beast kept me awake last night. I could feel the darn thing in my bedroom. So sometime around 1AM I finally rose and did all the switching around to make it more tolerable. And now I have to carry my cellphone more places and more often because the landline is gone. I choose the weakest “stupid phones” I can get from our provider.
I also have to go among the sinners of the world in order to call them to my Savior. I have to be ready to infiltrate some of the nastiest places where moral perversion piles up to levels of physical pain just being there. That shit hurts physically more than an over-powered wifi router. And “shit” is the nicest word that fits. Imagine driving a taxi in the worst crime areas you know; I’ve done something like that and I couldn’t take it very long. But the same awful sense of pervasive perversion nearly drowned me in the public school system, too. After a few years of substitute teaching it drove me to wacky behavior I still can’t explain.
I’m not that tough with some things. We have to assess our strengths and gifts from the Creator. Somehow I manage to shake off the affects of that electromagnetic pollution, but I assure you it’s not easy. Unfortunately, I can’t find the words to describe how I do it or I’d write them. But somehow I manage to keep my sense of His divine Presence despite spending several hours daily in this computer office. Somehow I generally manage to keep my heart-sensing working when I’m in town and among the crowds of folks. And sometimes I get to go way out in the country and just relax and absorb the sweetness of creation in a more natural state. So I miss the woods out in Choctaw, but I don’t miss at all the smothering sense of curse that weighs like a stone blanket over that trailer park.
If you’ve never gone out into a wild place and just stood or sat still and absorbed the elements as Creation speaks to you of the Creator, there’s nothing I can do to help you understand. But every time I ride past some high point of land and feel that wind — any wind from any direction — hitting my face, I have to stop so I can hear the voice of my Father. I can’t live without that; I might exist but I’ll be dead in heart.
Find His path for you. Know that it will require some kind of compromise just to touch those who most need it. Know that when He returns that last time, all this shit will be over and done with. Can you say, “Maranatha”?
