Reprise: Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

Coming back to our parish examination of what constitutes “law” for those under the Covenant of Christ in general, and Kiln of the Soul parish in particular, we should address the issue of divorce and remarriage.

The first thing to do is disentangle from the mainstream churches’ fierce defense of American law; it is entirely unchristian. American marriage law is an ugly, materialistic contract with the government as a the major party. The couple are not contracting with each other, but with the government for enforcement. And the government has done a horrific bad job of it, making noises about what really matters between a couple, but really only interested in seizing control of physical property, and then treating the children as property, as well.

I recommend private ritual ceremonies and frankly advise people not to involve the government in any way. If the covenant community cannot make it work, then it was doomed from the start. The Old Testament references to marriage assume a covenant community. Everything Jesus said about marriage, divorce and remarriage assumes the whole nation is a covenant community. The provisions don’t work outside of that.

Paul discusses things from an entirely different angle. His letters mentioning marriage were all published before any of the Gospels were. Whatever Paul knew about it came from his PhD background in the Talmud, and his later post-graduate level study with the risen Christ in Arabia. He says something slightly different than Christ taught because too many in Paul’s audience were Gentile converts bring into Christ their pagan marriages.

Unlike most of the other Apostles, Paul was supremely fluent in Greek. He knew all the grammar rules and when they could and should be bent or broken. You cannot really trust English translations on this. If you drill down to what he was actually saying, particularly in his Corinthian letters, the issue boils down to this: If your spouse is a full member of the Covenant, then the rules are whatever Christ taught. If your spouse has a no connection, or a dubious connection, to the covenant community, then it’s a different game entirely.

Once you are in the Covenant, you have no business getting married to someone outside of it. But we are assuming the majority were coming into the Covenant already married.

If your covenant life destroys whatever marriage you brought into it, then you take the loss and move on with your covenant life. If you find that you simply cannot live alone and ignore the sexual urges, it’s okay to remarry inside the covenant. Your marriage outside the covenant can be sanctified and brought in under the covering, but not if your spouse holds out. You want to try to keep your family under the covering as much as possible, but you can’t treat them as slaves.

If it looks like that’s gone forever, then you should try to do without. Paul was referencing the persecution and general tribulation of his time as the primary reason for turning to celibacy. While ours is a different situation, it is nonetheless tribulation and persecution for covenant people. If marriage doesn’t work, I recommend celibacy for prophetic reasons.

However, this is not a hard and fast rule. If you feel led by God to remarry, let’s counsel about that, because the door remains open for remarriage. By no means is this on the same terms as our pagan/secular American society. We decide remarriage on the same grounds as marriage in the first place: If the pairing serves a covenant purpose, then by all means, proceed.

Tangential but important: It’s not about falling in love. That’s the dumbest reason for anything humans do. What matters most is that it’s a good idea based on the assumptions of the Covenant life. Romantic affection will grow on its own accord. It does not come first, but last. I realize that’s really tough for American women in particular, and it warrants an awful lot of teaching and reviewing to break down that demonic stronghold.

For remarriage: Yes, you know that you’ve lost something that you cannot recover. That first partner imprinting will be a glitch you must live with the rest of your lives. It’s not insurmountable, but you must be extra vigilant against the Enemy forever after. The power of imprinting God built into us is not going to support your marriage for anyone who has had sex with anyone else. That’s a primary meaning of “defilement” — something God gave us is missing. Don’t confuse the ritual meaning of defilement with the spiritual meaning.