For those who are curious, a generic non-sectarian funeral is really quite simple. First, you have to understand that funerals do nothing for the dead, but are for survivors. At most, we are simply consoling each other. There is nothing to gain from drawing things out so that the living suffer and wish they were dead.
When I am officiating, irreverence is one person telling another how they are supposed to feel and act. We try our best to fulfill the wishes of the deceased; lacking any known wishes we improvise based on family wishes. In this case, Dad’s two chosen executors (I am one of them) came up with this:
1. Mood music as folks enter the auditorium. My Dad chose Native American contemplative flute music. Most of my immediate family are rather fond of that kind of thing.
2. A simple opening prayer.
3. While there is typically a eulogy, I favor saying very little and asking others to share memories that are either amusing or positive in some other way. I’m planning to share a redacted version of things he said right before he died. They aren’t there to learn about my religion.
4. The eulogy is often followed by some hymn.
5. Viewing the body and exit, perhaps with more of that background music.
Graveside services are even simpler and shorter, with a different flavor — typically reading Scripture or a poem, maybe a hymn and then a prayer.
