Christian Mysticism and Poverty

I’m poor. It’s popular to say that, but I could show you the numbers indicating my household income is just above the point where I qualify for food stamps. We have been pretty much exempt from state and federal taxes for quite a few years based on our low income. That’s the facts.

It’s not a complaint.

It is the sum total consequences of choices we have made, and we have no regrets in that sense. As a Christian Mystic I place material possessions far, far down the scale of priorities. Tweak of few circumstances and I might be wealthy, but those tweaks are not in my reach.

Sure, I could, in theory, choose to do things which would make for a much better income. Those choices would come at a high cost spiritually, though. Nothing about this makes poverty or any other suffering particularly holy and righteous. Suffering and sorrow are the default for human existence in this world. Sometimes you escape it in ways and places, and for various durations, but sorrow is the norm. Suffering is the legitimate condition of fallen humanity, and the only virtue attached to it is our response. My response has been granting God the things He demands of me, and that includes all those things, so far, which would raise my income.

So you say you serve Him, too, and no such poverty strikes your home? How nice. Bless His Name. We are all appointed for different things, and your appointments could well include material prosperity. I won’t argue against that, of course. I have other blessings for which I would not trade all your wealth and a lot more beside that. Sure, I would be glad for more stuff, but not at the cost of changing certain things I have voluntarily resigned to God. There was a time when I was willing to compromise, but no more. I can’t afford to it now. But I have no complaint nor envy for your prosperity.

My wife isn’t a writer, so you’ll have to take my word for it: She knows beyond all doubt the only way she’ll see more wealth is to leave me. Again, that is the situation for now, and has been quite some time. Now, that would be a gamble, of course, since it might make things worse for her, but that’s not the point. I’m not being a hard-head and making her suffer. Were she to want me gone, I would pack a bag right now. There are no chains on her. There most certainly are serious restrictions on my soul. At the cost of even worse suffering, I would not change course. Could not, if you will. This she knows, and chooses to remain in the covenant. I can’t say how glad I am of that, having just passed our 32nd anniversary.

So I don’t even claim to be particularly noble about this, because I’ve learned to fear the other options. They hurt in ways mere poverty could not. I would be dead by now, I assure you, had things gone different. Not that I fear for my life much, but it would do little to bless my family if I were to commit suicide, and that would certainly have been the result had I taken a different route. I came too close to it, as it was. No, I’m a chicken. Pain hurts me. Frankly, this is the path of least resistance, if you will.

On the other hand, the certitude with which I operate is greater than the existence of the universe itself. That is what Christian Mysticism is all about, and poverty is just a circumstance, as is death and a lot of other things. The Realm of the Spirit is more real than reality.