A Disturbance in the Force

There is a disturbance in the Force, millions of souls crying out.
I wish it was that simple, because the reality of such things is more complex. Mostly it’s nearly impossible to explain. All day long there’s been this apprehension, something on the verge of making me weep. It started yesterday. There was a time when I would have known this was just another wave of chronic depression, and simply stayed away from sharp objects. I don’t have an urge to do myself harm any more, but there’s an awful lot of sorrow still coursing through me.
So this is your chance to dismiss me as some kind of kook. Meanwhile, whether the threat to humanity is near or far, today is my day of sorrow for what will be lost. In that sense, I have to wonder how long such a “day” will last. It’s just that in my current understanding of how God speaks to me, it feels like it’s really close, really huge, and the tail stretches over the horizon. I wish I could relate it to something we would all understand, but I cannot.
Here’s what I can put into words: Bad as things have been, and now are, we haven’t seen anything, yet. The cruelty of immense evil is about to expose itself from behind the veil of what heretofore has been mostly incompetence, short-sighted greed and powerlust. We can’t imagine how many folks who honestly believe in what they are doing are simply pawns of something which began before any of us were born. Most of the people involved, here in the US at least, are living in some massive Truman Show experience. Born, raised in it, and almost everything they experience has been rather carefully staged. They believe it’s reality.
I can live with the self-doubt of wondering whether I’m the one living in a Wonderland. Some part of me died a while back, and I don’t think I miss it. What’s left is a lot more peaceful, so if this is crazy, I’d gladly keep it in exchange for whatever I had before. I can keep going and believe there is something right with it.
Yet I’m filled with a really big sorrow over something which probably won’t matter that much personally, in the sense of touching my odd little world. Rather, it hits me in some other place. Throughout my whole life, I’ve never been able to tolerate cruelty. Sure, like all kids, there were brief moments when I found myself overtaken by the urge, but I always regretted it. When we let such wickedness use us, it won’t matter whether we know the greater damage is to ourselves. I’m still wearing those tender scars on my soul to this day. Right now, every one of them is inflamed, because some part of me knows I’m about to see more of it than I’ve ever seen my whole life put together.
I’m going to quit rambling and simply close with this: Prepare for a shock. No amount of cynicism will prepare you for what’s coming. Count yourself lucky if you can’t get an accurate report. It drives me nuts I can’t get a sense of the timing, but it’s closer now than ever before. God help us.