I’m posting this early to give folks a head start.
Here’s hoping some of you have questions to ask. If you aren’t sure what’s appropriate, I would prefer you err on the side of taking risks. Simple stuff I’ll post below, and more complex issues will require a separate post.
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ehurst@radixfidem.blog
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A while back you posted about women choosing husbands unwisely, and you mentioned realizing that she had made a mistake, and maybe praying about it? Is there anything else a Christian wife can do besides pray, if her husband has not yet realized his potential and is a bit of a victim of our modern feminist culture, in that he doesn’t have a mission, lacks self-esteem, etc?
Your primary spiritual resource is your spiritual family. The tough question, then, is do you have anyone in your spiritual circle who gets it in the first place? If not, steer your prayers toward finding someone who can mentor the man in question. Men who get it tend to draw those who don’t, which makes it easier. The biggest issue is not having anyone easily accessible with the proper spiritual foundation. manhood itself is really not too hard to find and teach, but lacking the shepherd’s calling can really turn things upside down. Worst case? I would prefer steering people to the likes of Vox Day over most of the others I’ve read so far. But at heart, this is something which has to be caught, not taught. If there is no one exhibiting it in meat space, it takes a much greater miracle.
May I offer some of my own experience to Misty?
The worst thing you can do is assume that your man lacks self esteem. No matter what he displays outwardly, somewhere inside he knows he has worth. Your job is to play to that. If you treat him as having worth – and I mean every moment of every day, without harping – then he will eventually come around. My husband did, and if ever there was a ‘victim’ of feminism, he was. I had to reach deep inside me and do what I knew he needed, whether he liked it or not, and believe me, he was pretty squeamish about the way I could believe in him when he didn’t. It’s the simple things, like home cooking every single meal, showing affection, listening … I know this all sounds simplistic, but once he understands that you feel he is worth your devotion, he will stand taller.
Yes there will be setbacks and yes you may find yourself hollering at him out of frustration now and then. And it could take years. Just never be the one who puts him down. He is worth the effort, and so are you.
My 2 cents.
Good job, Christine. I was thinking about saying the same thing, but I like your version better. Let’s keep in mind Misty has not said it’s her own situation, but someone she knows. What you suggest is proper in every marriage, Christine.
Mea culpa, I should have read more carefully. Apologies, Misty, if I mis-interpreted.