(I’m trying to organize a series of concise lessons about how to think like the ANE shepherd in opposition to any part of Western social mythology about manhood.)
Don’t cave. Ever.
Western Civilization has created the laziest men on earth. Take away the reward for bad behavior and be so consistent about it that you condition your flock to expect it. Put the mission first. If you don’t have a sense of mission at all times, you are already lost and wandering; the sheep are falling to the predators. Your mission is to bring yourself first, and then your sheep under the moral character of God as revealed in His Law Covenants. Make that Law live in your soul first, then activate it as a covering for all who fall under your authority. Gauge for yourself how deeply and how long they are there under your authority, and in what way, but always take responsibility for what God places in your trust. Dying while trying is better than taking a break; you have nothing else to live for.
You can do virtually nothing about what people think of you. Their shallow and self-centered reaction to your faithfulness to the mission is not worth your consideration. When they stand outside your mission covering, they are on their own. You can’t do anything for anyone who won’t enter and remain within that covenant relationship. That includes most especially your spouse; of all the people most in need of understanding the limits necessitated by the mission, she is the one.
A Westernized woman is the worst there is. It’s not the same as simply living in Western society; when she embraces Western mythology, she is hopelessly lost. You have to start where you are, but if you’re just getting started, choose wisely. This is the same for all the women in your world. You are the man, God’s called shepherd — every man is a shepherd in His service. God’s Word states in no uncertain terms that women will never understand the moral necessities as you can. You have to understand them yourself, so learn His Justice. You will instantly recognize how awful a fully Westernized woman is and will avoid them when you can. But if you are already linked to one, it’s time to begin reclaiming your mission. She may never like it; it depends on how well she absorbs God’s Justice and sees the benefits. This is how God works.
So to some degree you can insulate yourself from non-spousal women, but you have to work very hard with your spouse. Again: Don’t cave ever. You can be gracious with your partner if she is operating from that frame of reference, but you cannot afford to give anything she wants unjustly. You must decide what is in the interest of the mission, not merely your personal whims. The mission is your best interest and hers. When you stand up for truth in that sense, she cannot win for a lie. Do the work; do it tirelessly.
The most critical element of your mission on earth is her partnership. If you get this wrong, everything else will fail.
