NT Doctrine — 1 Timothy 4

Posted on June 1, 2024 by ehurst

There is a unifying theme in this chapter: We do not accomplish a spiritual mission by worldly means. Holiness is not a quality of this world, but something beyond this level of existence that can only be indicated, symbolized, and demonstrated. The actions and symbols were not the point.

The Spirit of God had warned that men would pervert the truth by letting demons lead them astray. The greatest lies of Satan are always just a step away from the truth. It was bad enough that there were a host of pagan cults people kept trying to drag into the church. They had all kinds of silly rules about diet, sex, etc. But trying to enforce the Kosher Laws on those who were not of Israel was simply wrong, given that the Covenant of Moses died on the Cross. Those laws no longer applied to any human on earth.

Prior to Moses, God had said through Noah that all creatures were our prey, and instructed Peter in no uncertain terms that God had removed the temporary limitations of Moses, reopening all food to His children in Christ. But the silly notion that there could be some superior grade of personal holiness by avoiding certain foods or by avoiding marriage and sexual relations were already old corruptions of Moses by the time Jesus began His ministry. The whole idea of these demonic teachings was to trap people’s minds on this plane, causing them to mystify the higher plane so that it remained out of reach, subject to fables and man-made legends.

The eternal realm is our home; we belong there. The flesh must be humbled before the heart and trained to accept leadership. That’s what the law codes were for — to give an example in context of how eternal living appears. With the end of the Old Covenant, we seek only to understand what it signifies about God’s character.

What God provides is a blessing. We are to receive these things gratefully; this is closer to holiness than any form of abstention on any grounds. At its most innocent, this whole thing was confusion over what God gave for our use versus what He said to avoid. God’s Word is clear on most things and His blessings were well known. We are surely bound to seek and receive them in ways that reflect our commitment to eternity, but the things themselves are gifts of grace to symbolize the vast riches of that eternal life.

There are valid reasons for avoiding some things in this world on medical grounds, of exercising a certain form of restraint and physical training based on mere practicalities, but even that is subject to the calling of God. His provisions in this world often come with limitations, but an individual call to restriction does not constitute doctrine. The highest profit is not a fit body. Spiritual health matters far more than the practicalities of physical health; we use the resources of this passing plane of existence to bring to life the higher truth. The words of Scripture mean nothing if they don’t bring us closer to the Living Word. We suffer enough from the natural results of walking in Him without making up new ways to distract ourselves with arguments arising from human intellectual speculations. Paul reminds Timothy to keep everyone focused on such teaching.

God appointed Timothy; he needed no human approval to walk in the power of the Lord. The silly human notions, about how long one had lived and how thoroughly the mind was trained and seasoned intellectually, meant nothing against a living truth which had been around before mankind. Timothy’s age or academic background made no difference. If he could walk in the power of the Ancient of Days, then his teaching arose from that power, not mere human intellect. As long as Timothy bathed his conduct in studying the Scriptures, preaching and teaching from them, then every other issue could wait for Paul to come settle.

Ignoring the posturing and social jockeying of these corrupt “teachers”, Timothy was encouraged to remember and keep fresh the vivid sense of his calling, of the prophecies he received when the council laid hands on him. Those educational pedigrees and talents meant nothing in God’s Courts. Paul had better certifications than most and they meant little to him. What mattered was the simple gospel message and the Scriptures because it was by this that the Lord worked among human souls, building up His Eternal Kingdom.

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It’s Not Ours

Posted on May 31, 2024 by ehurst

Consider the logic: Human nature is loaded with desires on multiple levels. Even in the fabric of petty individual desires there are threads of something much bigger, of a discernible human imperative. The instinct for self-preservation is just the face of a greater ambition to propagate the species. The mass of fiction in which we become a space-faring race reflects that. We are driven to spread our seed as far and wide as possible.

The mistake is assuming that all of this is a gift from God. It is not; it is a disciplinary gauntlet meant to make us see the futility of trusting our own capabilities. The essence of being human is not what we actually are. The ultimate truth is that we are eternal beings who have no need for propagation and survival.

To be human is to live a lie. Not in the sense that we willfully deceive from within, but that we have embraced a external deception that ends in futility. Everything about being human has a distinct shelf-life. It will all expire, and the whole thing will be revealed as a small bubble, a brief passage, in the wider existence of Creation.

We weren’t designed for this. It was not our original condition. We were made for Eden, but we were led astray by forces we hardly comprehend. Revelation indicates we were a test of some moral truth that is far outside our reach. It’s not that we will cease to exist when the test run is finished; only our mortal passage will be tossed aside. No, our existence as eternal creatures is merely a reflection of who God is, and He says He intends to keep us around after all of this is over.

If you can grasp it: We will be commissioned to judge, to replace those incomprehensible higher beings who argued with God about the His plans and works. We are in training for this mission. The human situation is where we gain the moral fiber necessary to judge righteously.

The scary part is that not everyone around us here will be there. While it is impossible to explain in clinical terms, the underlying logic is available to us. Some people are simply part of the landscape, part of the broad deception that is our human existence. As a metaphor, we could say they are simply part of nature. They are part of the mortal animal and plant life around us, the Garden growing aimlessly without guidance. They are mere humans; there is nothing else to them. Our eternal souls were stuffed into these human forms for a time, but there are way more of the humans than are needed to house the eternal souls.

Even saying it that way doesn’t capture the truth. It’s just a parable. The clear statement of revelation is that, unless you are among the Elect, you cannot respond to God’s call. He alone can awaken an eternal spirit in humans. In essence, it has to be there before He calls, asleep and waiting for His touch. That’s what it means when Scripture says something about “elect before the foundation of the world”.

Not everyone is Elect. You cannot receive divine revelation without the Presence of the Holy Spirit. You must first be born from above. It’s not random, nor is it our choice; the biblical Doctrine of Election makes that clear. To human eyes the distinction is invisible. It makes no sense; it violates a human sense of morality. But human morality is not from Heaven. It does not reflect reality; it only seems to. The Holy Spirit infuses us with divine moral truth. We need to stop fighting that process by insisting that human moral reasoning be included.

It’s not a question of the Elect being “better” than the mortals, but that we simply are Elect. Our lives are no less tragic, and our fleshly nature no less hostile to the Holy Spirit. But the ultimate meaning of this passage for us is quite different than it is for the non-elect. What they have here is all they have; their existence is futility in itself.

The whole point of being more spiritual and less worldly is that we connect with that otherworldly realm to which we belong. It’s not a question of merit, but of simply being what we are designed to be. We don’t belong here; they do. We are supposed to manifest the difference by walking in our eternal privileges. That means being at war with this life, at war with our fleshly natures. It means alienation from everyone who isn’t Elect, and from their concerns and ambitions, their desires and instincts.

We don’t manifest it for the sake of those who are not eternal, only for those who are. It’s our call to our eternal brothers and sisters, who are designed and empowered sooner or later to recognize they belong. More importantly, our mission to manifest our eternal nature is to prove that God is right against the dispute of those other beings in His divine courts.

Don’t get wrapped up in this world. It’s not ours; it’s not our concern.

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Until I Die

Posted on May 28, 2024 by ehurst

Standard caveat: This is not prophecy. What follows is merely my best understanding of what my convictions indicate I will experience in the days ahead. These are my plans based on rather fuzzy expectations. Your mileage may vary.

We will be very surprised at the odd mixture of things that keep on dragging along in the same direction until they fall apart on their own, alongside the things that will change dramatically because large forces will impact them. Don’t be deceived. When the large forces move, there will be shocking changes. It’s not that there is any great intelligence behind the changes; it’s more complicated than that. It will be quite chaotic.

Even though the value of the US dollar is declining precipitously, I’m holding some cash for emergency use. I’m trusting the Lord to provide, and He’s providing some cash right now. I get visions of disruptions in banking processes somewhere ahead. Yes, some of it is planned, but plenty of things are coming that no human could plan.

Humor me for a moment. One thing requires a little explanation. This blog, and my previous blogs over the past two decades, often focused on my explorations of computer technology. I don’t enjoy it that much any more. I feel really blessed by the opportunities to communicate in ways I could not have had prior to the Internet, but things are changing.

I was there watching it when the Net first exploded, and wasn’t that interested until I realized how convenient it was to type stuff into a computer and modify the contents without the necessity of piling up lots of papers. My household baggage was vastly reduced when I got rid of the big pile of paper notes I was keeping.

At some point I became rather obsessed with the means and methods of computer technology. For the longest time, it simply did not matter objectively what means and methods I chose, so I felt free to explore all that was possible. If you scan back over the oldest posts on this particular blog, you’ll find examples of that childlike poking around.

My enthusiasm has died. There’s too much that needs doing in the time I have left, and I can’t afford the energy it takes to explore much any more. My flesh still loves it, but as that flesh ages and pieces of me keep coming closer to expiration, my heart rules more strongly. And my heart is not amused by the youthful exuberance of poking around in computer technology. I think it’s really time to just take what is offered, what is easily obtained, and get on with the original purpose of getting the message out.

My concerns now are censorship. Not stopping it; that demon has been set loose on our world. It’s more now a matter of tactics in working around it, even as the whole thing comes down around our ears. All I’m doing with technology now is keeping track of what is cheap and effective in the current situation. I haven’t forgotten that all technology sucks, that all of it could be better than it is. I’m still quite aware of what ought to be, but there’s nothing to gain from pursuing that. The system of oppression is closing in, and strategic considerations are foreclosed. All of my choices are now tactical, exploiting opportunities while they are open, and ditching the debris when opportunities close.

The reason I’ve bothered to explain all of that is because it’s the same for almost everything we should do in pursuit of the gospel and Kingdom glory. Don’t invest in the human future in any way, because all the fun stuff will be gone soon. Leisure will die. More and more of our time and resources will be consumed in just the bare minimum of survival. Don’t get lost in battles that have no meaning. The one thing that matters is the gospel, our covenant and our convictions (yes, that’s all one thing).

Thus, I’m now splitting my limited attention on technology matters between Microsoft and Apple, hedging my bets and keeping my options open. Naturally I have Android on the side, but I trust Google less than all the others. I expect Google to crap on us first. If you have a Linux/Unix device, there’s nothing wrong with that. Keep on using it as long as you like it. I’ll even be glad to help you with it, but I’m not using it myself any more, unless I somehow come to need a server, in which case it is obviously the superior choice.

For those of you who need more specifics: I sense that Microsoft will be the last to turn against us, too entangled with government to die easily. Apple is more dangerous to itself than anyone else, but they will be around a good while, yet. Google is riding too close to the edge, pushing the boundaries and is likely to go over a cliff at any moment. For the consumer, their Android device stuff is tolerable for now, and Chrome OS is okay for what it does, but don’t lean on them too heavily for the future.

Those recent storms that swept across Oklahoma, Texas and neighboring states are just a down payment on far worse that’s coming, and far more often. Hackers and saboteurs have nothing compared to natural processes; power and network outages will become common. I’ll keep my old desktop system as is with a big back-up power supply, and invest more in mobile technology for the future, stuff that can be recharged and not require constant access to power.

I have an iPad and I’m looking at a Surface device next, all with cell capability. For printing, I’m actually looking at dot-matrix machines. It’s the one kind of printer where you are actually paying for the printer, not some bait for a high-volume ink/toner selling program. Despite the prices of those toys, all of them must be considered expendable in the end. And I have a manual typewriter in the closet, alongside lots of paper, pencils and pens.

My mission is to communicate the message until I die.

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Random Photos 20

Posted on May 27, 2024 by ehurst

I took a trip recently and I’m really quite disappointed at how the pictures turned out. Only these tiny few were any good. First up is a pair of shots taken from a very crowded bus ride. This is the Winstar Casino in Thackervill, OK. It would be the last place you could get off the Interstate before crossing the Red River into Texas.

As with all casinos in our state, this is owned by one of the Native American tribes. It’s one of the most extravagant. Aside from the massive hotel, the side facing the road is actually a parking garage with various architectural facades emulating famous places in history. There’s an Imperial Roman entrance, a section that resembles Westminster Palace in London, etc. Most of these facilities dotted around the state are complete towns, with gas stations, grocery stores, etc.

My host took me over to South Padre Island, but it was a dreary ugly day. This shot of the beach facing out onto the Gulf of Mexico turned out okay. I was told it’s rarely ever calm; this is actually rather tame waves for Padre Island. The dunes are active and always moving just a little, and it requires a bit of work to keep the access ramps clear and usable.

There are really very few places to stop and get out in the built up area of the island. One section costs quite a bit just to drive into it for parking. It’s a total tourist trap until you get out away from the buildings. Thus, I ended up with this long shot down the beach back to the facilities. I did try to shoot from the car, but nothing turned out. I’m really disappointed by the photography on this trip.

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NT Doctrine — 1 Timothy 3

Posted on May 25, 2024 by ehurst

The Old Testament priesthood and social elders had requirements in the Law of Moses. They were expected to meet certain qualifications and to maintain standards. They were just ordinary men, but in extraordinary roles. This was carried forward into the New Testament. The labels are different, but the work is roughly the same.

As previously noted, where Timothy labored in Ephesus was already well on the way to becoming the center of New Testament faith. It stands to reason that with such a dense population of believers, Timothy could use a little guidance on church offices that don’t show up in smaller congregations scattered over a wide area.

When Paul chose the Greek word episkope it was not a kind of man, but a specific role. Translated literally, Paul referred to “aspiring to oversee” — the doing of the job. The term might point to an apostle, but it could also just be any elder or pastor tasked with an elevated concern of keeping things on track. These are men God called because they could tell when something didn’t fit the clear gospel standards. The mission is sniffing out deficiencies and irregularities, to inspect and prescribe improvements. They had to first understand the gospel standards and what improvements should look like. It was both a talent and a heavy burden.

While the list of qualifications has garnered an awful lot of attention, it justifies reading between the lines. An overseer is one who cares enough to sacrifice himself for the reputation of God and His revelation. He knows that a revelation must live in humans, that the rules are not the treasure, the people are. Everything is for the sake of their growth into Christ. This is the kind of man who has no trouble meeting those qualifications.

He mentions deacons because some churches had become busy enough to warrant the elder/priest combination having extra hands for tasks carried out by more devoted people who didn’t feel called to lead. The whole image here is not leadership but vesting someone with authority rather like the Temple Guard, just without the military force connotations. It was more like the messenger corps. A literal translation of diakonos is attendant.

For this reason, the New Testament uses the term “deaconess” in some places. Women can do this; it doesn’t require exercising authority, only privilege. It requires access to things not always public and implies a high trust factor. Keep in mind that some of these people were paid staff of the church in these roles. This is not the same thing as the seven chosen for the first church in Jerusalem; they were elders, community leaders, not deacons.

It’s not as if Timothy could not have figured this out, but Paul encouraged him to develop the organization of the body in preparation for the sudden arrival of a great many Judean believers fleeing the coming Jewish revolt.

Paul ends this chapter with a short recitation of what sounds very much like a bit of catechism, something memorized for doctrinal teaching. It indicates clearly that these roles required high qualifications because they reflected on Jesus Himself.

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No Rescue Here

Posted on May 23, 2024 by ehurst

The Woman at the Well made an off-hand comment to Jesus about “when the Messiah comes” that was totally consistent with the fervor of the times. The entire nation of Israel understood Daniel’s prophecy and that it was about time for the Messiah to come. This surely spilled over into Samaritan society, as well. Any day now, the Messiah would come and set everything right.

Of course, to set things right meant different things for different folks. For the Jewish leadership, it meant getting rid of Rome. For the Jewish peasants, it meant getting rid of the oppressive Jewish leadership, as well as Rome. And for Samaritans it meant overpowering Israel and getting their day in the sun.

There has always been a strong market for any promise of a coming rescue operation. It’s so strong that it shows up as the primary hope in literature, TV and movies. It’s the dominant theme here in America, to the point it’s in our language as “the cavalry riding to the rescue”.

Today there’s still a very powerful market for this trope. There’s an awful lot of unhappy Americans willing to pay almost anyone who offers hope for tomorrow. You can find variations on this theme on both sides of the political and social divide. Everyone is hoping the idiots on the other side will be taken down, maybe even slaughtered, and the world made right (whatever that means to them).

Some people very close to me are investing a lot of time and money in crackpot voices selling this very thing. Any day now, the cavalry will come riding to the rescue and the evil people will be destroyed.

When Jesus the Messiah came, it was nothing like anyone’s expectations. Even today we still have masses of people who don’t even understand what He did. The rescue was on a spiritual level; He opened God’s Covenant to all, instead of just one tiny nation. But the oppression of the Jewish government and Rome lingered on past His rescue. Indeed, the conflict between Judea and Rome exploded, raging for a century that saw Jerusalem destroyed and Jews forbidden to enter when it was rebuilt. That was hardly what the people were expecting.

There is a rescue coming, of course, but it will mean the end of this world, not its salvation. There will never be a time when this world is set right. It will only get worse until it ends. This world isn’t real in the first place; it’s just a simulation of sorts God is running to prove a point. And we are not the audience He is trying to educate. Rather, we are the subjects of the experiment. How do you like being a lab rat?

It’s not as if we play no part, and we certainly do have hope for a better end in Eternity. It’s just that we need to understand that we are not that important in the grander scheme of things. As long as we are deluded in thinking that we matter that much, we will never grasp what God has been doing, nor what He intends to do. Yes, He loves us, but we are not the center of His plans. We will be included in His plans to prove a point: He is unique above all others, the one and only Creator who warrants all glory and praise.

You and I warrant nothing, all the more so in our current form. As mortals, we are just a living, breathing proof of God’s contention with far higher beings. This is our role, and we need to adjust our expectations. The high privilege of participating in His glory is beyond understanding, magnanimous beyond words. There will be no substantive rescue in this life. This world is supposed to be an insufferable mess, and it surely is. Our only hope for any measure of relief is to seize the privilege of living according to divine revelation.

We do have a purpose here. Life is not meaningless. It’s just that all human ambition is inherently contrary to that purpose. There is no grand rescue in this life. The world will continue on its path to Hell, steadily getting worse. It is supposed to suck. What comes in the next life is beyond imagination. We are most fortunate to be included.

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Make Room for It

Posted on May 20, 2024 by ehurst

Jesus chose His disciples. He knew what He was getting.

You’ll notice His plans had nothing to do with efficiency, nor even effectiveness. His plans had to do more with salvaging people already marginalized by their society. It was all about the people, not their talents or capabilities.

God can use anyone, or no one at all, to accomplish His mission. It’s not a question of whether the mission will get done. He wants people; that’s the mission.

This whole business of churches looking at resumes and accomplishments means we aren’t dealing with the Body of Christ, but a religious business with a tax exemption to cover for worldly ambitions. That’s not how Jesus chose His disciples. He didn’t use any special miracles that we cannot tap into.

He chose people that were available, people who would follow Him. Because they submitted to His feudal mastery, they were open to changes that would make them into miracle people. It’s the same miracle changes God willingly injects into the lives of everyone who are available. And sometimes He chose people who weren’t available, like Paul. But Paul understood authority and believed in divine power enough to become useful.

Anyone — truly, anyone — can be made useful to God. He doesn’t need our suggestions, our nominations for election. What we aim for is to manifest His message as a lovely vision that calls to those He prepared. It won’t matter what our assessments are regarding the people He chose. He chose you, didn’t He?

Make room for His power.

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The Mission Is Never Complete

Posted on May 19, 2024 by ehurst

Peace with God is a gift. You don’t make it; you receive it. Then you learn how to feed it and care for it so that it grows and consumes your life. If it doesn’t have you, you don’t have it.

Yesterday’s Bible lesson teaches us to act as if temporal peace with God is possible for the entire human race, Elect or not. That’s what the Cross and the New Covenant is all about. It remains something that belongs in this world. There’s no need for a covenant in Eternity.

The ability, the inclination and desire, to have peace with Him under His Covenant is what He must give you. Otherwise, there will be no interest. People get hung up on the wording that “God desires” all humans to have peace with Him, as if this “desire” implies He intends to make it happen, or that He has left the door open for every human.

Saying God “desires” something is a mere anthropomorphism. It is not an absolute truth, but a characterization. We cannot paste logical and concrete traits onto God in Heaven. Any words we use will be an approximation, at best. God transcends any comments we can make about Him. That Paul was an apostle does not change that. Indeed, what I’m trying to explain here is his Hebrew outlook on things.

There is no such thing as propositional truth. That’s an oxymoron. There is a Person who allows some of us to approach Him for reasons we cannot comprehend. Nothing about it could possibly make sense to our logic and reason. It cannot be told — ineffable. All we can do is approximate in human terms something close enough that we can organize and implement what God requires of us.

It’s not a matter of facts or clear ideas. It’s a persistent nagging that pulls you toward something that certainly does not compute logically. You can’t ignore it.

What He demands from us must come from Him in the first place: loyalty, commitment, heart-led submission and adoration. If He doesn’t put that inside of us, there is no way we can exercise faith. The starting place is what the Penitent Tax Collector said during worship that day in the Temple: “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Only God can grant that kind of humility. So, the only question that matters is whether you can find it in you.

If you sense that calling in your soul, then by all means, seek His face. Declare your submission to Him as Lord and ask for guidance in obeying His will. He will provide. Keep asking, because as long as you live, the mission is never complete.

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NT Doctrine — 1 Timothy 2

Posted on May 18, 2024 by ehurst

Western minds do not understand the boundaries between the Spirit Realm and our fallen existence here in the flesh. They do not understand how those two realms connect.

Evangelicals will choke on this: The current chapter refers to this life in our flesh, not spiritual birth. It should be obvious from the context that Paul is talking about how to walk in this world. To his Hebrew mind, “saved” and “salvation” points to walking in the Covenant; it is the redemption of our lives here below. While his teaching here is certainly connected to spiritual birth, that is not the point. The point is that the salvation he’s talking about is the Covenant life on this earth, the divine privilege of knowing and walking according to God’s revelation for life in this world.

Our human minds cannot understand Election, nor can we do anything at all to change whether someone is elect. The Elect were chosen before the Creation of this world. The whole culture of the Ancient Near East in general, and Hebrews in particular, would not presume to speak directly and clinically of eternal things. So, to pray for everyone is to pray that they find the Covenant life, because Jesus died to open the Covenant to us. His death on the Cross had nothing to do with changing Election.

Praying for humanity at large is pointless; we cannot bring before the Lord something with no clear identity. Paul says pray for everyone we know about personally, including the rulers we may never encounter. We pray that they find the truth of Covenant life, a life of peace, godliness and dignity. Our Lord welcomes such prayers, since He always wanted every fallen human to find His Covenant. That’s why He sent Jesus, so that the Covenant did not remain some obscure secret hidden in a corner of the world, but a message of redemption to all mankind. We want them to walk in the Covenant.

This is also why God commissioned Paul as an apostle, to share this message, to organize and implement a way to gain maximum exposure to every human. For this cause, Paul wants everyone to pray fervently, lifting up holy covenant hands to the Lord. In case it’s not obvious, that phrase “holy hands” refers to a life that is committed to the Covenant in feudal obedience. He refers to letting go of anger, wrath, and contention over fleshly trifles.

Then, Paul gives an example and happens to start with what Christian women should strive to do. He’s not referring to sexual modesty here; that much was already obvious, even in a Gentile world at that time. He’s referring to ostentatious displays of wealth. Women should not flaunt their fancy jewelry and expensive clothes; they shouldn’t show off their hair at all. In that world it meant they should wear a simple head covering, rather like a plain scarf. Instead of flaunting her wealth, she should proudly uphold her covenant covering. She should act like a woman who is under a strong spiritual authority, not an independent harlot. She avoids public attention as much as possible.

Thus, no covenant woman would ever dream of holding or exercising authority over any man. She knows that God made her to support her covering, to be a blessing, a “helpmeet” whose whole mission is her man. The reason for this is that God didn’t grant women spiritual authority; it’s not part of their equipment. In the Garden of Eden, she was deceived about the spiritual nature of what the Devil was saying, but Adam was not. God made males to carry spiritual authority, not women.

It’s not that women simply cannot lead, but that they are not equipped to do it right. They are inherently incapable of sensing the things men can sense about the moral and spiritual context. Paul’s reference to “childbearing” is symbolic; women are meant to be daughters and wives, not social leaders. A world where women lead cannot walk in the Covenant. So, we pray that women stop trying to lead, that men will stand up and take their headship role and do it right, according to the Word.

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Don’t Believe It

Posted on May 15, 2024 by ehurst

Reminder: I am no kind of activist. I do not encourage nor support efforts to force the system to change. Such efforts do not result in substantive change in the attitudes of those who run the system. They still hate us, and so any time they are forced by political leverage to make adjustments, they carefully structure the changes to ensure that no real beneficial difference can slip through.

I’ve seen glimpses of the system here and there. We’ve got decent people trying to serve disabled military veterans at the lower echelons, but the system above them restricts their hands. They are not allowed to do what they already know is in our best interests. It’s the folks higher up who still hate us and want us to just go away and die. That’s how bureaucracy works.

So, I’m not working from the inside. If I were to try, the bureaucratic hive-mind would strive with all it’s power to force me to change my moral character, of spit me out of the system. That’s a part of why I decided to leave the military in the first place. Of course, the ostensible reason was physical disability. The system already saw the extent of my injuries, and still offered an assignment for which I was physically incapable, as if to mock me.

Yes, this is the reality, and it serves no purpose to be bitter. Rather, I’m warning everyone who doesn’t already know: The promises they make about taking care of you are lies. Not in the sense of blatant nothing-there kind of lying, but a cynical and Orwellian kind of lying. They give the appearance of delivering, but then every step of the way is a nightmare of bureaucratic entanglement, always denying care on the most improbable technicalities.

I can’t count how often I’ve had to call in the big dogs (Senators, ombudsmen, lawsuits, etc.) to force the system to do better for me on some issue. If you are considering serving in the military, don’t be fooled by the promises. Go into it knowing that it’s all lies. Know that they will chew you up and spit you out, and barely manage to mumble a fake “thank you” as they bundle you into a coffin. If you elect to serve, do so only because you must, despite the abusive nature of the system.

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