Bringing Love Home

Over the past few days I’ve been exploring the art of love, but it has a point.
The character I’ve described is the same for mysticism, pacifism, agape, and a lot of other fancy terms. I don’t distinguish between them because it all points to the same inexplicable thing. The art of agape is simply an expression of it, but so is Game.
I live in close proximity to someone who is truly rotten at loving. Can you say “solipsism”? The gal is so self focused, she isn’t even aware she makes everything about herself. She has embraced American feminism in the same package with her modern Prosperity Gospel religion. There are so many like her I simply cannot begin to count just the ones I know.
You know that idiotic AT&T advertising campaign here in the US markets, with the ignoramus dad, whining about his ethernet cable, and the smart brat daughter? This gal I know honestly believes that is pretty close to reality. The vast majority of competent computer users are male, and typically the male parent in most households, but you can’t convince her of that. Most men are just useless idiots, barely good for bringing home the bucks.
Well, I’ve been teaching her husband Game. She blames me because things don’t work out the way she expects in her marriage. I’ve flatly told her the flaw is her expectations, and it simply drifts right over her head. I could read these posts outloud to her and she would say she understands and go right back to what she did before.
This is the average American female, folks.
You can blame whatever you like, but I’m pretty sure she’ll go to her grave like this. It’s not just Game; she doesn’t get love itself. And she’s raising daughters to be the same way. She has no clue what is normal behavior for them. She yells and screams at them and gets all bent out of shape if anyone else does it. She expects them to be hungry when she is, and not before. She makes them whiny and whines when they whine. She projects her desires upon them, and gets angry when it doesn’t work.
She’s scared silly of me. I’ve yelled about something perhaps one time in the past year when I thought she was doing something dangerous. I was wrong and apologized, but she only apologizes when she’s threatened. In other words, agape has no meaning to her.
I’m still using the art of agape because it’s the right thing to do, never mind how she or anyone else responds. She’s just an example of what any of us are likely to face. You can’t let them force you to change; you can’t shape your behavior to fit theirs. If you start off like this dealing with everyone, only a precious few are going to understand. Most of them will be kids, by the way, because the number one trick with kids is patience and taking them seriously. The few adults who are going to understand are the people whom you trust, your real friends.
And if you don’t already have a love for life, you’ll find her/him among those who can understand the art of love.