I realize it all sounds like bullshit.
You. You are the project. Not someone else and certainly not the world around you. No other part of this reality is of any real concern. Your reactions are what you need to work hardest to change. Your entire focus is fixing you.
Not in the sense of fixing yourself, as if you were the ultimate source of change, but fixing you almost as an externalization. You have to become both alienated and yet more familiar with your self in order to do it right.
This is why we Christian Mystics act as if hard reality is not that important. It isn’t; God says so. If you don’t read that message in the Cross, then you haven’t seen the Cross. C.S. Lewis called this world Shadowlands and it is more true than even he knew. There is an appearance of consistency to our reality, but it’s a lie. God said you cannot trust your senses for more than provisional operational utility. You cannot get any real meaning from this reality, though you can surely find it in this reality.
Knowing the will of God for your life is chasing gossamer threads of uncertainty. Grasp those threads and your life with change more radically than any tectonic shift. It’s hard. That’s because we have an instinct for a certainty that isn’t important, nor really possible. Reality is fungible. Miracles should prove that well enough. If God can alter reality with a whim, it’s because reality isn’t that important. It’s a reality that is only apparent.
Ultimate Reality is outside of our time and space experience. It cannot be searched or even reached by human intellect. You cannot know it in that sense. You have to use a faculty that belongs out there, that suffers nothing from the limits of time and space. That faculty is what the Bible calls “faith.” We were created on that plane, but chose to exist on another. Nobody is going to explain in terms you can handle intellectually, but it’s a human choice that put us in this mess and blinds us.
We are told to make a choice to get out of this mess, yet also told in the same breath that we cannot even want that choice. It’s not supposed to make sense on our level of understanding. The initiative for change lies only with God, yet all humans are called to it. Attempts to nail this down with logic and theory will always fail, always come up short. Don’t try to define it with theology, but understand the necessity of action. Not action to change things external, but you internally.
You don’t have to understand how it works in order to do what’s right. One set of imagery is as good as another in the sense that getting you to respond any way at all is more important than seeking some “right” answer. It’s not what you know, nor what you do, but the question is to what you are committed. The worst thing you can do is take so seriously your own way of organizing your response that you try to make it normative for others. Your conceptions, your theology, are yours alone. Your orthodoxy might get some vibes, but the more precise you make it, the more wrong it is for someone else. There is no objective truth, and if there were, you would not be competent to define it. Get over yourself.
You are fully competent to decide you will obey that calling, and competent to respond to things you cannot control.
