Seeking Substance

Pray with me.

No, I don’t feel oppressed and harassed. I’m frustrated by a few things in my life, but I don’t see it as the hand of Satan or any of that silliness. The hand of Satan is more about moral incontinence; hassles are just that background noise we face when following Christ.

Our washing machine has been giving us trouble. My son and I have managed to fix quite a few nagging issues, but now the logic circuits have gone bonkers. There is no good reason for putting a computer inside a home washing machine, except as an excuse to charge more and give less. Parts wearing is one thing; I can handle that. When the logic board and sensors go haywire, the cost of repair is more than that of replacement. That’s the whole idea, of course.

We didn’t choose the washer; it was a hand-me-down. Now we are researching replacement because we have more time than money. I’ve used a washtub and rubbed my clothing on that ribbed board before. It’s not the end of the world; it’s just background noise.

I’m quite sure I could continue to drift along these lines grinding out articles and books in our splendid isolation here. Aside from the occasional computer hiccups, almost no one is interested in my services. There are jobs, but all of them require standing, something my bad knees won’t tolerate. Accommodation under the ADA, you say? American socialism isn’t half so sane as what you find elsewhere and I consider it unconscionable to assuage my sorrows at the expense of others. It’s not a question of pride, but in that sort of work, my contribution would hardly justify the expense. My real complaint with flipping burgers is the unconscionable toxicity of the food I’d be churning out.

I’m not praying for prosperity in the first place. I’m praying for meaningful service. All I really want is to demonstrate the power of the Spirit. I long to expose my faith to a wider audience because I suspect there are more folks out there just waiting for a revelation of that sort.

I’m not unhappy with this blog and what it seems to have done in that direction, but it doesn’t satisfy my moral appetite. I’m up against the place where, if I don’t take this out into the real world and test it first person, it’s value remains too thin. I’m not the same guy who went out and garnered all that experience in the broken world, so what I’ve gained and changed since then still needs confirmation on the ground. Until then, it’s just so much theory.

Pray with me.