This is something with which I struggle even today.
There is a time and place for the prickly response. Those are the moments when, as best you can discern, nothing else will do in pursuing your mission. There are contexts where you simply cannot bless some people with your serenity. When harsh responses are justly given, you have nothing to regret.
The basis for deciding either way is not self-image, but mission necessity. To the degree we project any persona at all, our aim is the serene mystic who bears all things in the name of Christ. The instinct to rush in and heal all woes, correct all untruths, etc., is all around us, but foreign to biblical morality.
When I’m in the gym, a genuine safety threat calls for intervention. That’s defined typically as someone lying on a bench unable to get out from under the barbell in their hands. That is not the same as someone struggling to lift when the weights are no threat to them. And unless they cry out in pain and obvious sorrow, I’m not going to suggest a better form without first being engaged as a coach, even if only for a brief moment. People who really want to improve will either ask you or will research it for themselves. Humans need to find their own way until they realize it doesn’t work.
You cannot help someone who doesn’t want help. You can only justify acting unilaterally when there is a threat to your mission. The Spirit can tell you if you cultivate the habit of listening. My constant chatter here about dominion and informed consent is as much a reminder to me as any one reading.
You will no doubt encounter far too many people “just trying to help.” It is a particular sickness of Western society to make that a virtue, and to shame people who object to it. The disabled community ethic as a response to it is also morally flawed. People with any measure of empathy have a hard time watching someone else struggle or suffer, and Western culture bungles it senselessly. By a complete lack of dominion awareness, we have created a social context ripe for hard feelings.
Don’t wait for that insistent offering of unhelpful help to come along before you decide how to stop it. Review in your soul what sort of boundaries and thresholds you can tolerate based on what you see others experiencing around you. Prepare yourself to face such things. Sometimes it isn’t worth a response and you have to know when. We should generally be reluctant to thrust our moral truth on others until there is a context that gives it meaning. They have to see our non-verbal witness of faith first.
Don’t offer your admiration to someone who vanquishes everyone they encounter. It’s not a matter of control for us. We aren’t here to conquer the world, only our own fallen nature. Most of us will never have the charisma and presence of mind to pull off a strong social presence. It’s all we can do to keep our focus on the mission regardless how others perceive us.
Great advice.