Silent Thunder

I can’t tell you.

A fresh measure of grace has been granted us here. As with all things divine, it’s ineffable. I suppose if you were here with me, you might get it. Maybe you’d understand on some level because you were close enough to absorb it. I suppose that depends on whether your heart is active and your mind has some awareness of a higher authority. You’d know it’s not me. It was put there by someone far higher than any other power or authority.

I choke on giving it a label because all of the terms are so deeply stained with abuse and perverted associations. None of the words we could choose are big enough in the first place.

It comes to us as this overwhelming sense of competence and confidence, when you know it has nothing to do with you. Or maybe it’s like that awe inspiring sense of accomplishment when you really haven’t done anything. It’s a living, breathing paradox all its own. You come to the awareness that all the contextual trappings of existence really don’t mean much, because whatever changes externally won’t change what’s burning inside.

And even if you think you get it, maybe you don’t. I can’t tell without being close enough to sense it. It’s because all the words I can splatter on this electronic display don’t mean shit unless that same thing lives in you. It’s frustrating as Hell on the human level, because we all know the words are just noise.

It doesn’t ebb and flow. Once it starts bubbling up inside, it’s eternal. It was eternal before you noticed it. I suppose the awareness can wax and wane, but not the thing itself. It doesn’t have to come as a sudden awareness, but can be a slowly growing discernment. Still, once you realize what it is, it has you. Everything you see has an entirely different meaning, even as a part of you recognizes everything about it in the same old way. Rather, it’s that fresh new level of awareness that drives you to the character of Christ on the Cross.

While your emotions will rise and fall, crescendo and diminish, they aren’t anything more than sugar sprinkles of color, not even the icing on the cake. Most folks will associate it with some kind of sentiment, but you will find it shouting loud enough to drown out the world, telling you that it is far, far more.

No, I can’t tell you. I suppose writing like this will alert you to something worth seeking, but I assure you it’s stalking you. At that point, it becomes really hard to describe what’s going on inside of you. You’ll have plenty to do and plenty to say, but you’ll be aware at the same time that those are mere symbols of something far, far beyond.

Now you know as much as you did before.