Manhood: Out of Bounds

Know your domain.

Second-guessing God is a fool’s errand. One of the most important strategies in manhood is keeping the focus on your mission and calling in life. A critical element in that strategy is portraying the sense of certainty and drive that comes from seizing your calling in both hands. Few things portray manhood like a drive harnessed to a purpose.

Most of us don’t suffer from an excess of talent, but many of us are distracted by mere interests and entertainments we mistake for talents. A task of manhood is discerning the difference. We know instinctively that our mission and calling should be something that we love to do, but our social conditioning teaches us to be vulnerable to distractions. It takes conscious effort to discern between diversion and opportunity. Wisdom teaches us ways to gracefully withdraw when something goes the wrong way and begins to compromise the deeper sense of mission. Generosity is a tactic, not a trait.

It’s not that boundaries cannot move, but we must strive to keep an eye on them as expressions of our character in context. Character means distinctive, obviously different from the rest. It is not a goal in itself but the natural result of paying attention to what God actually demands of you. The point with character is recognition, not some artistic pursuit in itself. Don’t get lost in dreaming of some romantic and heroic vision of what you would like to be; invest more effort in discovering what you are.

Learn to say this: “It doesn’t matter what you need; this is what I have to offer.” Human need is boundless — you are not.

On the one hand, we cannot deny that events beyond our control will shape us. We learn to treat those things as the hand of God, despite whether we find them pleasant. However, we do have more authority in rejecting unjustified demands than our society would like us to believe. Nothing and no one in this world has some “right” to demand things God didn’t give you. Some vaunted analysis of what is needed is not your guide. You will inevitably find yourself forced tactically to play along with some things, but don’t actually buy into the lies that shape the context. Retain your awareness and seek opportunities to slap things back into place.

Assert your God-given boundaries.