My right knee is beginning to look like a roadmap. But scars in the flesh mean next to nothing in the bigger picture. It’s the scars on my soul that still bother me.
Today I spent time with a dear friend and brother in Christ. Aside from matters of personal faith, we also discussed some shared experiences in a highly politicized church culture in our area. The details aren’t that important; there is nothing to gain from repeating lurid tales of bad experiences. But near the end of the conversation, I voiced the conclusion that I still believe to this day that a certain number of right-wing activists in these churches would not hesitate to resort to violence, perhaps even murder, to ensure events followed a certain course. I say that because of what I learned from other victims of their ways.
It’s almost always about money in the long run. Even when it’s politics, it’s about the money and the comforts it buys. They claim it’s all about honoring God, but their idea of God is closer to Mammon. No god is more demanding of extreme acts of loyalty.
So I confess that I discovered some of my religious ideas after fleeing that atmosphere. That is, it fires my determination to ensure that no one holds any kind of power over the others, that no one amasses wealth by manipulative fund-raising, that we remain utterly decentralized and completely without any real estate interests or other physical facilities of any consequence. If God Himself does not hold us together, nothing else should.
I still weep sometimes when I think of those bad old days.
I find shelter in my aloneness. It is only at such times that I can feel free. Free from the influence of such a merciless and ungodly world. Sometimes it is especially around those that espouse to be devout Christians. My heart is open to all who come within my sphere. Whether it’s a neighbor or someone I meet in a store or someone sitting next to me at the hospital. It is only when the Light is shining from my heart that others, who are either seeking something or are hurting and in need of something, respond to me. Believe me when I tell you I am not an introvert but I no longer seek outside attention. I prefer my aloneness because it is always in the presence of our Father.
Those whose hearts are open and connected to the Father can see the truth. Those who are not , deceive or are blind. I pity those who cannot see.
Luke 13:24 Matt 7:15