I am expendable.
It was never my intention to build some kind of legacy in my name. From the very start, I strove to work within the system. I really was dedicated to the gospel message. I was deluded in thinking my calling meant that I needed to become a church pastor; that was how the system worked. But I was called to teach, and I knew that.
And I knew the message I was going to teach would be different from what was common in the system, even if I hardly knew just how different it would end up being. Again, I was misguided by the system in thinking that having a unique approach was a matter of career and offering a distinctive product on the market, as it were. Still, it wasn’t hard to shed that whole mindset when it became clear the system refused to let me offer even the very tame shift I was proposing.
So I was spat out by system politics, but it served only to harden my resolve to seek farther along the path I was already on. There’s nothing heroic here: The message called to me. I’ve always known that my best work would be behind someone who had the charisma to actually lead. I have no doubt it called to others, but somehow I managed to be available when others weren’t. The Lord uses those who respond, even when they aren’t to best for the job.
So this is not about me at all. Radix Fidem is simply what I call it because it saves your valuable time not having to restate the particulars every time I try to post something. I’m assuming you are reading my stuff for pretty much the same reason I write it — that God Himself is driving this whole thing and has a claim on your life. It’s all about the message.
Is there any doubt that this message demands radical changes? It’s not for everyone. So far, it’s been only for a very few, indeed. But God is our publicist; He’s the one who decides how much attention, and from whom, this thing receives. Our part is merely to share it however we are called to share it.
And you should know that we will bump against a lot of human barriers. Nobody in my neighborhood wants to hear about it. A good number of regular readers have passed through my blogs, and I sense that very few of them have taken the message with them. That’s okay, because it’s not about branding. It’s about bringing people closer to their divine heritage of shalom. It’s a very long and very hard path.
I still maintain that if there is one thing we must do, it’s increase the awareness that conviction trumps reason. If we could just get that one concept across, it would change everything. Sure, there’s no doubt it would change the world, but that’s not the point. It would bring more people onto the path back to Eden, to explore the Land of Shalom. Maybe we can get a few who come to visit and stay.
For me, that’s the bottom line.
I feel you, bro.