You can’t hire me, but you can invoke my loyalty.
On the one hand, we must comply with the laws of the land at least enough to fly under the radar. On the other hand, you must understand that I operate on a wholly different level, that I am an alien who belongs to some other age. You won’t get me to work with you under any mainstream corporate expectations. I will serve your interests using the talents and resources at my disposal. If you provide a portion of those resources, you’ll get a lot more out of me, but we won’t be discussing wages and terms of employment except mockingly. If you really do need my services full time, as it were, it’s best to think of it as feudal service.
You’ll invoke my loyalty for two reasons. First there’s my moral character. Secondary would be my experiences and skills.
If you need my personal loyalty, it’s not that hard to get it. You decide what’s in your best interests; my morals will determine how I serve them. Yes, there are moral boundaries. I’m not likely to kill for you, but I might be willing to die for you. It’s that serious. I’ll be more honest and trustworthy than any number of professional private investigators you could hire to check on me. I tend to be frugal because I am not self-indulgent, but I’m not slavish and stupid. You can serve whomever or whatever you wish as your personal deities, and I won’t pick on your religion at all, but you’ll have to make allowances for me to serve my God. That loyalty can be destroyed or simply starved and I’ll move along to other things. Still, it isn’t difficult to cultivate my trust and commitment to your welfare.
My experiences and skills include things like the US Army (Military Police, mostly), public school teaching, lots of different kinds of church staff work, and countless hours working with computers and the Internet. I’ve been a professional driver off and on, plus a traffic accident investigator. I’m fine with travel, insane hours of operation, unfinished tasks, and I’m seldom emotionally involved in things. I’m surprisingly physically fit for my age, but I do have a few physical limitations (and I’ll get really grouchy if you keep me from trying to stay fit). I also need to come home often enough to remember what my wife looks like.
Don’t ask me to keep your books; that’s what computers are for. However, I will keep an eye on your schedule, expenses and equipment. I don’t want to carry a gun, but I’m a decent bodyguard. I’ll dress nicer for some occasions, but I don’t even own a suit and tie. If you think my personal grooming is your concern, don’t contact me. If you are given to vice, you’ll need to level with me to see what I can ignore. For the most part, I mind my own business and nobody will learn from me anything you prefer to keep private. Then again, don’t ask me to violate my own convictions; I’ll die first. Ask me and I’ll always tell you with brutal honesty anything you need to know.
Wanna work with me?
