It’s Not the Same

Let’s assume for a moment the best prognosis for my knee. When the City finally pays out and I get my bike back, I still can’t afford to go off on long rides. This thing with my heart means I have to stay close in travel time to medical help. I can ride, but not all that far out into the boonies. I could go out there if I could drive, or maybe ride a scooter or something, but long bike rides are out for a while, if not altogether.

The workouts I do at home are probably good enough as far as exercise goes, but sitting on a chair in the breezeway outside my door is a poor replacement for standing out in the wind-swept countryside. This all requires some mental adjustment. And I still have to find the inspiration that used to come so easily out on those long rides. I most certainly do intend to be back out there once the knee gets better, but I still have lots of time here.

So I’ve decided to fill some of the time with turning that Answering series from this past April into a book. It requires some rewrite, and I’m pasting in that article I wrote for “Trending” as the intro. I’m still waiting for help on the Radix Fidem booklet, too. But this Answering book will be a longer piece and might serve to introduce our religion more specifically.

Pray with me about these things.

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Storms from the Ground

I feel a little chagrined that I didn’t post this sooner. I was aware of it a couple of days ago, but wasn’t sure how to approach it at the time. What good is a prophetic calling if you keep your mouth closed?

I spotted this a few days ago. In essence, someone hacked a Twitter account and found some private messages indicating that our US Attorney General Lynch is working directly with some BLM (Black Lives Matter) leaders to provoke an excuse for martial law. This is the sort of thing many commentators suggested would happen back when Obama was first elected. While they suggested it would be racial conflict, nobody guessed the concrete details correctly. The plan revealed by the hack was to bus in rioters to both Republican and Democratic national conventions this summer. It’s just the tip of the iceberg.

This morning it’s all over the news about the Dallas police officers shot by snipers at the end of an otherwise peaceful protest against policemen shooting civilians for no good reason. I noted in the past how the servants of The Cult have been working to provoke this war. I saw back in the 1980s a shift in police training to make them more brutal, and that fruit is coming ripe today. Meanwhile, serious money is pouring into the BLM activities.

So we are left with seeing a serious effort to provoke martial law in the US. It’s moving faster than I expected, and I predict this will spillover into other countries.

You and I need not panic, just see it for what it is. Trust your heart to tell you how to exploit this for God’s glory. He is most certainly at work here and His wrath on sin is at the same time our blessing. Don’t fret; watch for opportunities.

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Gospel Perception

We don’t preach orthodoxy and action; our gospel is essentially awareness.

The heart is far stronger and wiser than the mind. Lots of people already struggle with knowing; despite what their reason tells them, the power to do what they know is missing. There is something inside us that resists what is rational. But when you move your sense of consciousness into your heart-mind, the power to do is frankly hard to resist. Teaching about mercy and what kinds of action might fulfill our convictions is just a matter of shaking people loose from their old patterns.

When I go outside to pick up trash, it’s not as if some new sense of factual knowledge fills my head on finding the hidden pollutants. It’s much more subtle. It catches me out of the corner of my eye. There is no guilt if I happen to miss something and see it later. But the truth of God living in your soul calls to you from the center of your being. You don’t perform the mission; you become the mission. All you really have to do is fix those things inside of yourself; the world takes care of itself. Just conform to your own convictions.

But we also know that what we propose to the world is such a dramatic shift in human consciousness that we have no words. Truly, I don’t see how you can say your are heart-led when you end up with visions of uniformity. The sea change we seek is under the surface, not confined to mere human response. We want folks to lose themselves in the truth. Changes in the observable context must come as a result, but they are not the objective. Changed behavior is a symptom. You can’t teach symptoms; they manifest on their own. We have no vested interest in the literal outcomes.

Our vision should be an awakening of the sensory heart and the heart-mind awareness that cannot be seen with eyes.

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Fear Is a Prison

So perhaps you’ve read today’s post over at the parish parlor blog and you know that I’m being treated for a potentially deadly problem with my heart.

In the words of Lenny LeBlanc in “O God, You Are My God” from the album Pure Heart

So I will bless Thee
as long as I live I will lift up my hands to Thy name
So I will bless Thee
as long as I live
and in the shadow of Thy wings I sing for joy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcplJ5ud3VE

As long as I’m still alive, I will continue to seek His glory. This is not the time to be afraid of what might happen; I’ll follow the best advice I can find, but only God can make it work. And if God is ready for me to report in person, no one and nothing can keep me here. I don’t care for this medication so far, but the doctors insisted I should be able to live as before. And probably far longer than any of us could guess.

So, let’s get to work and make the most of what time we have together, long or short. We are in a time of tribulation and miracles will be tossed out to His adoring children generously. Aside from the blog itself, everything we do as an online parish should continue fine with or without me. You are all still the same wonderful brothers and sisters walking in heart-led conviction of the truth.

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Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome

My heart is healthy, but the wiring around it is faulty, so to speak. The title above is the name for this problem, as I understand it. This thing is capricious. There are aggravating factors, but the thing itself can just go downhill without any useful warnings.

As some of you know, the trauma of my bike crash, and perhaps a side effect of the anesthesia, changed a bunch of things in my body. Among those things was a new intolerance to caffeine. It triggered tachycardia, but it was bearable. Most episodes lasted 30 minutes or less and symptoms were quite mild. Once I got past the initial recovery period, I began taking Hawthorne Berry extract and Curcumin. Those are known to strengthen the heart, among other things, and they seem to have worked well.

I had a couple of episodes starting Saturday that I couldn’t explain. Today not a single aggravating factor was present, but it kicked off right in the middle of walking back from the apartment management office. And it didn’t stop.

So after an hour I had my beloved take me to the VA Emergency Room. They were concerned this time, because if it keeps up long enough, the heart stops from exhaustion. So in consultation with the Cardiology Clinic upstairs, they decided it was the wiring problem. I was hooked up with some interesting equipment and two IVs. One was for input, the other for flushing. They injected a single dose of something with a name I can’t remember (it sounded like they said “adenosine”) which made me dizzy and breathing was difficult, but it also stopped the racing of my heart. I was told later that it usually isn’t that easy, requiring up to three cycles of injection followed by a flush, and even some electro-shock efforts to regulate it down. So mine was easy.

While they still want to do an echo test later, the doctors decided that the shortest path for now was to treat it with metoprolol tartrate, which slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure. This is a lot less invasive and risky than some kind of surgery to “burn out” the wiring issue with my heart. Once I’ve had the echo test, the doctors should be in a better position to decide long term treatment.

It’s one heck of a way to waste a day.

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The New Camera

SimpleTest01So it arrived yesterday and I spent some time reading the user’s manual. It’s pretty simple and most of the settings can be automated for reasonable results. This first shot was just to test shooting in overcast conditions. I’m standing in the middle of Pratt Drive facing eastward near our apartment complex.

TelephotoTest01This second image is just a simple test of telephoto shooting from across the street, again in overcast conditions.

While this camera suffers the same weakness of all the digital cameras I’ve ever used, with images a little bright and color faintly washed out, I think this one was well worth the money and you can expect to see better shots than I’ve posted in the past. Those minor issues are easy to tweak in GIMP.

Now for the tough part: I keep getting the sense that my photography in the future won’t have that much to do with cycling. I still plan to ride and shoot, but my heart tells me that will no longer be a major feature here. I can’t tell you what this is about — I don’t know — only that the winds of change are blowing through my heart. The crash was a turning point, and I’m likely to be discovering what it’s all about for a long time to come.

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Not Giving Up

Covering your torso is modesty; covering your bald spot is vanity.

I’ve settled into a routine of daily workouts that work more on my heart than any other muscle. I’ve been walking a few blocks lately — say, 10 minutes as a warm-up. Then I proceed on alternating days with either calisthenics to tone up the muscles (especially the legs) or an all over high-tension workout that improves circulation in all the muscles I manage to active. The latter includes a set of movements designed to hit the whole body; it tones, but it’s aim is circulatory.

I can sit longer without having the right leg elevated. The issue is not discomfort but circulation. If I sit too long in any seat with the knee slightly bent, the swelling behind the patella tends to reduce blood flow and the lower leg gets that faint swelling effect. Riding in the car on longer trips is particularly uncomfortable.

For awhile I’ve taken a halt on editing and reformatting the Bible study books. Someone made a request that got me thinking. I’m going to collect the more meaningful blog posts from the past three years into monthly booklets and re-publish them as HTML files. Then I’ll keep that rolling hereafter.

That’s because I’m still just a little uncertain about how economic troubles will affect our favorite Internet services. You can never tell when a currency exchange shift or banking collapse will shut down something you take for granted. The trend is to close without warning. By having a copy of the more pertinent teaching material, I won’t lose it to some black hole. By making the files into portable web pages, you can still use the search function in your browser to find key words if you are looking for something specific. Any standard desktop indexing will also serve a similar purpose.

I’m not trying to be alarmist because there is little we can do to prevent economic collapse. It won’t be an absolute stop of all trade and exchange, but a slow-down in relative terms to what we see now. Central banks will either rob depositors or close down, and quite a few will do both. Smaller banks will vary widely in their fortunes, but it’s not looking good for any country that belongs to the global banking exchange system (SWIFT). Countries that opt out or keep an alternate system working will do much better. It will hit Western countries the hardest.

But while specific operations will tend to shut down suddenly, the broader economic activity will tend to slow, but in ways hard to predict. All anyone can offer is generalizations. There is no central clearing house of detailed economic data; too much of what we do have is false. The Internet won’t go away, not by any means; TPTB depend on it too much.

Even our leased server space (soulkiln.org gone early in 2020) is somewhat vulnerable, because our host (Tim Butler) is leasing the machine himself; it’s physically located in Washington, DC in a data center owned by some big IT corporation. I haven’t forgotten what it would take to turn the big workstation into an actual server, should it come to that.

Meanwhile, I’ll start posting the blog archives on the FTP server for those who are interested. It will be in a “blog” folder.

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Timing Is Everything

How many of you remember my comments about sensing a divine necessity in going out that one day to take pictures of the West Elm Creek Valley? I was puzzled about that sense of urgency. But then, a short time later was the crash that destroyed my bike and could mean a full year hiatus from riding and photography before it’s over. To be honest, over half the shots I took that day weren’t good enough to post, so documenting things was not likely the priority. The point is that it was important to Him I get it done, and I presume it won’t be possible later.

Timing is everything. Right now it’s not all that obvious why my brother died a week ago instead of some other time. The only real sadness here is that I’m pretty sure he died without making peace with God. But today I’ll be gathering with some extended family and commemorating his life. What follows is something I wrote to share with everyone there:

************

Jessie Tearl Hurst – 14 May 1970 – 26 June 2016

Nobody can claim to describe another person; all we can do is relate our individual experience. Hopefully you’ll recognize some of what I say as the same Jessie you knew.

He was born almost a full generation behind me, but we remained close as siblings, especially as he got out of childhood. From the very start he showed a disdain for boundaries. But instead of raging against them like a bulldozer, he developed a strong talent for circumvention. He always seemed to harbor the suspicion that boundaries and barriers were designed to keep him from something he might want. But it was seldom about the prize; he was always driven by the challenge to prove how smart he was against the system.

The world needs people like that because there are too many people who take the system too seriously. Unfortunately, those are the folks who guard the system and Jess spent a good chunk of his life incarcerated. Through all of that, I tried to keep track and did what I could to remind him that I cared. We did share some traits, but our different paths are a study in contrasts.

Jess in better days.

Jess in better days.

  • He was a convict; I was policeman.
  • With computers, he was a serious hacker who loved exploring; I was more of a customer service technician.
  • He was an atheist and I’m a clergyman.

We still got along fine. He still needed people. Genius is wasted unless there is someone who can see it. As long as he had some kind of companion to work with, he got a lot of work done. In those times he was isolated, not so much. Particularly in the second half of his life: He needed someone around to benefit from his talents or he lost his drive.

His intelligence stood in the gifted class, just a little short of the official definition of genius. So it’s not as if he didn’t know his personal habits were unhealthy, but there were few that he would trust as a sanity check. The decline began in earnest probably a decade ago, accelerating as time went on. He came out of prison buff and healthy, but when I found his body a week ago Sunday, he was emaciated.

It serves no good purpose blame anyone. He was his own man and fought being told what to do, which manifested in his adamant resistance to medical treatment. He made his choices and left us too soon.

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Conditional Physics

I felt that this didn’t fit in the pulpit because it’s didactic, more a question of fundamental philosophical approach.

Western Christianity tends to push God out into the spooky unknown. God is “knowable” only in the sense of propositional statements that are admittedly imprecise. Nonetheless, religious leadership tends to hold members accountable under a fairly precise rational orthodoxy. You end up with an impersonal God. Sure, we can stir up all kinds of emotion that makes it seem somewhat personal, but the focus remains on objective knowledge. Somehow, God remains distant in that inner space of the soul. It’s like having sex with a total stranger — you know about the other person, but don’t really get to know the person.

In clinical psychology, we call it cathexis — falling in love. The intensity of feeling is undeniable, and the world seems like a beautiful place. However, there has been none of the interpersonal negotiation that takes place over the long term, so any strong feeling of passion is frankly unjustified. There’s no substance. This is a fundamental element of our cultural mythology.

The essential nature of how Western minds work in regards to God is just like cathexis, and it’s on-again-off-again. We have a reflex to take every disappointment as a personal insult. He should know better than to treat us that way, right? Isn’t it just common sense? Except, our orthodoxy says that’s wrong, so we just push it down into the subconscious and fight it the rest of our lives. For the most part, mainstream Christianity is as phony as a three-dollar bill.

You can get to know God. However, you have to engage Him in your heart-mind. Once you start on that path, you become personally acquainted with God. Propositional orthodoxy goes out the window. You begin to see and get a feel for those things that register in the mind as personal quirks. And like any real person who manages an empire too vast for knowing, there are times He’s not granting your every wish. The intellect will not permit you to imagine that the flaw is on your end when you stumble into the middle of a storm He created. Didn’t He know you were going to be there? But your heart tells you He did know and that you were the one who missed the cues. Or maybe it’s time for you to experience something He wants you to beat by faith.

Ask Abraham how it felt to be told his only natural born son was required on the sacrificial altar. The New Testament said he had the faith to believe that God could raise Isaac back to life, or whatever else it took to keep God’s promises (Hebrews 11:8-10).

The notion of physical causality is a fundamental lie. That’s because it excludes moral causality, and moral causality trumps the physical.

Let’s pretend for a moment. Have you encountered the sort of Science Fiction notion of somehow being able to directly sense physical reality? The old term is “ESP” — extra-sensory perception. For example, maybe someone has the ability to sense on a molecular level that something is about to break under strain. That’s the materialistic explanation for people knowing things they cannot detect with their senses. Maybe you saw the movie about a guy who could sense whether an approaching storm front was powerful enough to create tornadoes. He used a lot of scientific equipment to learn about the storm itself, but no one could estimate scientifically that it was going to be nasty enough to justify the investment of resources. But the other folks competing for the research money didn’t have his talent for knowing when to use it. In our culture, it’s either some spooky thing or it’s ESP.

What seems to rational minds like some kind of ESP is actually a moral focus that understands God, and thus understands reality (His Creation). Our “ESP” is a moral insight, not some factual perception. How many times did the Apostles pass that beggar at the Temple gate (Acts 3) before something inside of them knew that today was the day for healing his legs? Why didn’t Jesus do it while He was still around? Because the timing was tied to the moral purpose of God, not some human calculus of efficiency.

In the Bible, it comes from knowing God; it’s a direct sense of moral reality, not physical reality. Again: God’s moral character is woven into Creation. And Creation is a person, too, and will talk to you about what God is doing, if you learn to listen. Of course, what Creation will tell you is consistent with your calling, not merely your intellectual curiosity. Moral truth trumps physical fact. God remakes His Creation all the time; it’s a built-in factor of Creation itself. Creation stands ready to make adjustments to itself; it’s a project that would cease to exist the moment God stops paying personal attention. Scientists will never discover the principle of what force keeps the subatomic particles together as atoms, against their mutually repelling charges, because it rests on the personal attention of God.

Jesus performed His miracles under the Law of Moses. Balaam engaged God’s prophetic message under the Law of Noah. You have to understand that those Law Covenants represent something characteristic of God and His moral essence. Their ANE culture was quite comfortable with expecting moral causality to overpower physical causality, yet I contend they didn’t ignore the latter. They still expected a rock to fall when they dropped it, but were always ready to test the moral considerations of every physical act.

God didn’t wind up Creation and let it run; He’s communing with His Creation personally.

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Psalm 107

Book 5: Psalms 107-150

This is a catchall collection of several smaller collections of public worship songs, including the songs of Ascents and Hallelujah psalms. In other ways it seems to celebrate specifically covenant promises and how to claim them.

Psalm 107

This is called “The Song of the Redeemed.” While the specific focus is how God has kept His covenant promises, we do well to remember there is more than one covenant with humanity. The promises under Moses are specific examples of how God acts in all times and places. If you cling to a heart-mind awareness of His divine moral character in Creation, then Creation will respond of itself, but He will amplify those natural blessings to those who love Him.

We are treated to five examples, but the last is more of a summary. All are in dire straights, as is the norm for fallen humanity. In some cases the trouble is because of a failure to keep faith with God, but some are simply the result of seemingly random circumstance. God does what He does, and humans often stumble into His works without full knowledge and run the risk of perishing. In call cases, calling on His name is the key to deliverance, while giving thanks and praise is the key to staying out of more trouble. Does anyone have to explain that the symbolic or parabolic meaning is more important than the specific imagery?

It’s not hard to pick out the pattern of musical stanzas in the first four examples. Someone comes into difficulty, cries out to God and He delivers. The psalmist encourages all to glorify God for His greatness, as demonstrated by the repeated phrase, “His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the sons of man!”

First are the travelers. For Israel, the standard symbol is wandering in the semi-desert wilderness. There is no particular sin at work; this is simply how the world is. By default, we are blind to God’s promises of provision. We cannot with our own human abilities find the basic needs of life and create a stable society. The symbol of shalom is summed up as stable and prosperous life in an Eastern feudal community. But if mankind calls on God, He will provide their needs, in this case by guiding them into His divine provision. He shows them the place He made for them and it provides all they need. When you respond to God’s call on your life, He provides all you need to glorify His name.

Second are the captives; there is little difference between slavery and prison in the ancient Hebrew world. In this case, it is the result of disobeying God, hinting at idolatry. This is a parable for those who reject whatever revelation God offers, and are forced to serve the Enemy of our souls. Calling on God is the only deliverance.

The third group is portrayed as ill, but the primary cause is moral illness — insensitive to the moral fabric of Creation. There is no pleasure in this dissolute life, and they approach death rapidly. But calling on God brings healing and restoration.

Fourth are sailors, a job that is high risk with a high payoff if you succeed. Ancient mariners were uniformly religious and quite superstitious because they were so powerless. They were fully aware of the power of God’s mighty works in Creation, because they saw it up close. When by His inscrutable will He sends storms into their lives, they experience the radical ups and downs of high waves, hardly able to keep their feet under them. But if they cry out to God, He can deliver them and guide them to their destination.

Finally, the psalmist summarizes God’s faithful to Israel. Had he called her to occupy the most desolate land of all, it would not have mattered. Were she faithful to the covenant mission, God could have easily made the desert like a garden, with streams and pools aplenty. It would become fertile and produce abundant food. Life would explode, including their own population. And if they stray from that mission, it could all be reversed and they would be oppressed and humiliated by their enemies. Don’t get too fat and sassy, because God favors the humble who depend entirely on Him.

The psalm closes with a final warning to heed the moral character of God as indicated by these examples.

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