The Fallacy of Activism

This is a postscript to Institutionalized Cowardice. I apologize in advance for the length, but I hunger and thirst for your freedom from deception.

A major element in my enthusiasm for Glennon’s work is that it removed some mental blocks for me. It was an answer to the prayer that I could further subject my intellect to my heart. Long mental habits that participate in the social mythology of our age are the biggest threat to our moral progress. The heart knows the truth, but the brain is still blocked up with trash, so we are unable to implement the truth we have.

It’s truly difficult for most of us to discern the difference between strong sentiment from that Western mythology versus the convictions of the heart. Because our conscious minds read conviction through the conscience, a perverted and confused conscience can hinder a clear signal. The fires of Hell mimic the blazing light of glory in places where we don’t really have eyes. If it burns deeply enough, we have scar tissue that will not easily heal without serious pain and disruption to our sense of who we are.

Most of my life I struggled with intense, white-hot fury at things that were wrong, but which things I had been taught were right. So I bore a further false load of guilt over a wholly justified anger, which only confused things further. This made me somewhat a slow learner. But the power of our Lord to heal is bigger than all our injuries, and I am a testimony that fools can move toward wisdom.

The vast evil conspiracy of our world is not entirely the work of some alien force. A big part of it is us. If you can spare the time and attention to Glennon’s work in conjunction with the likes of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, then you begin to grasp what I mean. All of the blather that objectifies the evil of our world and the “Deep State” or shadow government or TPTB is a cover story, a mythology meant to hide the truth: You and I are just a step away from being part of that evil shadow government.

I know this because I recognized myself in Glennon’s description of the Trumanites. I was a previous participant in the massive bureaucracy that hamstrings constitutional government even as it must of necessity keep those elected officials around for cover. The elected folks often ask, “What are you going to do about it?” The obvious answer is that, unless your heart is actively in charge of your conscious mind, you have no defense against the smothering cowardice of the bureaucracy. Not just the actions and policies, but the very soul of bureaucracy leaks into the minds of elected officials and they simply become a part of that world.

There is no one to blame. Try to understand that. Our instinctive thirst for justice has also been hijacked by this system. As Glennon explains toward the end of his work, this problem is inherent in the system itself. “If only the people were better educated and held their own civic virtue!” Perhaps this is the point at which we can understand why it’s impossible, because the power of the people lies in having their heart-minds awakened. But if their heart-minds were awakened, they’d have never cooked up a system like this. This is the feet of mixed iron and clay in Nebuchadnezzar’s vision of the Statue (Daniel 2) — it’s brutal while riven through with crumbling (and bumbling) cowardice. It makes no sense at all.

The blessing of heart-led faith and a commitment to divine justice reminds you that you cannot possibly objectify government. We are hard-wired for eastern feudalism, that form of government that shields you from the power of anyone who isn’t family. The perversion of this is that bureaucracy masquerades in the soul as family. It’s not quite the same as making a god of the State, but it’s giving that blood and covenant loyalty to some broad and impersonal thing that grants the sense of identity that normally comes from a feudal family household. It’s like that virus that arranges its outer appendages to map neatly into your body’s receptors and hijacks your own body processes and energy to kill you. Every cell in your body contains the means to self-destruction. It works the same in our psyches.

This why the bureaucracy seems alive to us. It maps to our moral receptors and hijacks our sense of justice. Only with your heart-mind awakened and ascendant in your soul can you begin to detect the lies. After reading Glennon’s description, I suddenly realize why I find certain people morally repulsive and can’t make myself be nice to them: They are willing servants of the soul-sucking institutional cowardice, to the point of a perverted “bravery” and forcefulness in dealing with victims who complain. You deserve your sorrow because you aren’t going along with the institution that gives them their identity. It’s far more than just that paycheck; they aren’t mercenary but morally hijacked. We face the same mindless abuse from all kinds of smaller bureaucracies in business that mimic the government.

Aside from our advantage of discerning through the heart-mind the moral failures of it, we also have one great ally in the Internet. The bureaucracy survives on secrecy, but it’s shot through with shocking incompetence. It used to be easy to hide that stuff because there was no way to publish what you might discern. Keep in mind that the bureaucracy owns the entire gamut of publication aside from the Internet. But now we have truth leaking out all over the place. Without the Internet we would not know, for example, about the murder of Kenneth Trentedue here in OKC and how that leads to a lot of loose ends in the official narrative on the Murrah Bombing. While the system has mostly shut this whole private investigation down, you and I get the one remaining benefit of seeing an undeniable justification for doubt. That is, we see exposed the cowardly brutality of the bureaucracy.

It’s not brave and noble if you take no significant risks, but the bureaucracy rewards brutality like bravery.

While most of those who see the facts leaking out respond with a predictable outrage aimed at tracking down the perpetrators and holding them accountable, you and I know that it is simply not possible. For one thing, if it weren’t that specific group of thugs carrying out the will of the bureaucracy, it could easily have been others in vast army waiting for the command. The system exists precisely to avoid personal accountability; all the actors are generally interchangeable. The only difference is varying levels of expertise at tying up loose ends and protecting the secrets. Punishing those who murdered Trentedue would change nothing and would not accomplish divine justice. That truth is something that the common citizen rabble will never grasp, because in their minds the old heathen Anglo-Saxon justice is God’s own character.

Much of what we see on the Internet either feeds the monster or serves to distract from the awareness that we are being devoured. Most of the keyboard commandos are actually serving the bureaucracy by keeping alive the fundamental mythology that creates it. No justice is possible from within the system, and the vast majority of activist noise on the Net still belongs to the system by default. You have to shed the whole system before you can even begin to understand. Learn to discern when something shares the nature of bureaucracy.

We can still infiltrate and use all things for His glory.

Postscript: Dr. Bruce Levine notes that virtually the entire field of medicine and counseling psychology is made up of compliant type individuals. “Having steered the higher-education terrain for a decade of my life, I know that degrees and credentials are primarily badges of compliance.” Thus, the likelihood that someone who is anti-authoritarian (demands to verify authority as to validity, competence and trustworthiness) would seem utterly alien to doctors and counselors is virtually guaranteed. To them, the anti-authoritarian is truly insane.

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More Admin Changes

Okay, parish, the Spirit of the Lord is driving me hard right now and I can’t sleep.

Let’s assume for now that this blog service isn’t going anywhere soon.

First, here’s the vision thing: This parish is about to get busier. That is, we should begin to see more people needing what we do. That means more pastoral services, but it also means more fellowship with some of you. If you aren’t into that kind of thing, now is a good time to stop posting comments with your real email address. This is also the time to tell me if you would rather not have your site or blog in my blogroll. That will become a list of affiliated blogs for folks who want to fellowship with others who have similar interests. That’s what churches do, even if they are virtual churches.

Second, this blog will function more specifically as the parish parlor. Think about what a parlor used to be in homes before there was TV or radio. It’s where we entertain guests, keep a bulletin board, and our parish offices will be here. I’ll still post my photos and computer networking tech stuff, but there will be a stronger focus on serving people as a fellowship point and offering practical guidance. This is where I’ll wear my “elder” hat. The other blog will remain the prophet’s pulpit.

Third, I’m still utterly convinced that we will be receiving refugees from mainstream organized religion. I’m not trying to drag folks out of their churches, but I am sure by now you realize that I see problems with most of them. Instead of rehashing a list of what’s wrong, let’s allow the folks decide from themselves why it ain’t working for them. What we do here is prepare to help them build a faith that starts with a whole different set of assumptions. For example, I’m all about that House Church thing. God takes it seriously, so we should, too. If you do anything like that, prepare to share how you do it.

Fourth, if you need to share something and don’t want to have your own blog, let’s talk about guest posts and maybe some other ideas. If we have enough active chatter through this nexus, maybe I need to construct a parish forum? And you should expect the parish staff to expand, too. Right now the only people with anything resembling a title is Sister Christine (“Mama Elder”) and yours truly (Pastor/Elder). We need a real pastor because my calling is actually elder, with a strong prophetic component. If someone has a strong pastoral talent and a site or blog, I’ll link to that appropriately from here.

Fifth, I will maintain the same broad openness to other teachings, but don’t expect me to soften the boundaries I’ve already established. The boundaries for working through this blog are summarized in the Radix Fidem tab above. My services as elder are still open to anyone who isn’t an enemy, just be aware I can only do what God calls me to do.

Finally, if you like to keep an eye on what’s coming down the road, there are some obvious things to look for. Somewhere someone with a higher profile than this blog will start talking about what we teach here. In particular, watch for someone writing about heart-led living and Christian faith. If their chatter in any way resembles what you see here or on Falling into Grace, then we have an answer to that prayer. It’s a good thing by itself, never mind whether anyone acknowledges this blog. If you see something with a more specific linkage to what we do here, that should signal things will start popping.

Now, I’d pay for the premium service to get rid of the advertising at the bottom of my posts, but that’s $100/year (US). I can’t afford that right now; I’m paying that much for the other site (gone as of early 2020). I’ve already given you instructions on how to block ads if that bothers you. However, if we should start drawing a lot more folks, I’m guessing the support will come with that.

I’m all in on this. I’m invested in making this as much like a meat-space church as possible. The bridges are burned and I’m not planning on doing anything else. To some degree, we are blazing a new trail, so don’t be shy if you have some ideas for improvement. I already have plans to change my “About” page and some of the blogroll links. Let’s do church!

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Institutionalized Cowardice

A book recently published is getting a lot of attention: National Security and Double Government by Michael Glennon, Professor of International Law, Fletcher School, Tufts University. I found a paper he published which seems to be the precursor of the book [PDF], if not an exact copy.

First, I have to encourage you to read it for yourself. I’m keeping a copy of the paper on my FTP server. Second, I’m not reviewing it so much as reacting with a characterization based on my personal experience as filtered through my faith and moral grasp: The vast bureaucratic secrecy reflects the underlying cowardice of the average human. Glennon refers to two threads of power in government. One is the official face of government, leaders with all the pomp and glory. Here in the US, he calls them “Madisonians” because Madison was the chief architect of constitutional government. However, it was Truman who founded what we experience today as the “Trumanite” bureaucratic machinery that actually runs the government.

There is a clear and simple reason why the Trumanites run things: They are consistent across the whole history of leadership, both good and bad. The Madisonians don’t actually do anything but posture before the voters and vary wildly from one to another for dramatic effect. It’s the Trumanites that run things because they own the entire mechanism for implementing whatever the Madisonians demand. The fundamental nature of this Trumanite bureaucracy rests on the overriding concern for “national security.”

Because everyone — the entire “national security team” — is accountable, no one is accountable… Its cohesion notwithstanding, the Trumanite network is curiously amorphous. It has no leader. It is not monolithic. It has no formal structure. Its actual membership blurs at the margins. Its ranks reflect the same organizational, philosophical, and personal rivalries and fissures common to all bureaucracies. Blame avoidance ranks high among its priorities.

You have to experience it first hand to truly grasp the perverted mix of heroism and institutionalized cowardice that comes from serving in the military. It’s not that real military leaders do nothing, but that they are permitted to act heroically only in the areas not under Trumanite control. This is also why the Madisonian politicians can do some stuff that hurts and hinders every day life (or by accident, helps), but it’s only those things that the Trumanites don’t care about.

We can build stereotypes, but they don’t always work. Some elements of the CIA are real life action heroes who do some of the most insane stuff, taking physical risks we can’t imagine. But they are heroic in obeying a deep institutional evil. Thus, we have CIA agents arming and training Al-Qaeda and ISIS to kill our heroic uniformed troops. Yes, somewhere up that chain of command are people who know this and keep it going, but it wouldn’t happen without an army of cowardly bureaucrats.

That cowardice percolates into everything, from every angle. The secrecy itself is cast in bureaucratic cowardice. Even if someone gave you clearance to the deepest layers of government secrets, the whole thing is written from the cowardly mindset and you can’t touch it without the perversion creeping into your soul.

It’s all about the status quo. “Trumanites have no time to re-examine the cosmological premises on which policy is based.” This cowardice percolates upward, too. Thus, we see it expressed ever more often in the Madisonian branch. When was the last time you got to vote for a candidate you actually believed in? Are we not herded into believing in someone we would never choose, but who has positioned themselves to the closest proximity of our beliefs? Both parties are now run by Trumanites.

Addenda: This is why all that chatter about firing, or even executing, all the members of Congress or other manifestations of Madisonian government is meaningless. It would change nothing. It’s a waste of energy even to think it. Changing the course of American government means executing the thousands of Trumanite bureaucrats first and dismantling the entire system. That is a task almost no one would undertake and rightly so. The only way out now is for the whole thing to implode, which is what we see now taking place in slow motion. The problems of American government will die with the institution itself, not before.

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Not Worked Up

What did you expect?

Just a reminder here: Our virtual parish belongs to a branch of religion broadly referred to as Christian Mysticism. Our brand comes with certain assumptions. When your moral orientation starts with the assumption that mankind is fallen, and you live in a world that denies it, there should be no surprise that you shift away from common expectations. Have you noticed how folks get emotionally engaged in stuff that no one can fix?

Seriously, folks — stop and consider the logic of our Christian Mysticism. Yes, mysticism does have a logic. It’s a different logic, but that’s no reason to say it isn’t logic at all just because it starts with wholly different assumptions. You should learn to distinguish between “different” and “wrong.” In the logic of Christian Mysticism we don’t go out of our way projecting an expectation of bad things from everyone so as to provoke those bad things. We know that most folks will tend to do okay most of the time, but we always keep in mind that we don’t expect very much because we know our own sins.

So we don’t foul the atmosphere any more than we can avoid, but we do prepare for the worst. Part of that is a fundamental assumption that any given system will fail. While systems rarely implode completely before our eyes, we will see the failure of systems repeatedly crunching up against human reality. When the people who devise these systems work from a false sense of reality, we know it’s going to come apart. We also know that somewhere up the chain of command that someone truly believes in the system and blames individuals for failing to live up to some imaginary potential. When someone says in all seriousness that they can’t get good help, it’s because their expectations are wholly unrealistic.

We aren’t aimless, but Christian Mystics also don’t struggle to accomplish things most people would notice. We aren’t entangled in the outcomes appointed by human reasoning. We do what we can, but not because we believe in the ostensible goals. There is a far higher motive of embracing the moral character of God, and it’s not the same as the moral character of any particular socially identifiable group in the world around us. They share some of our moral applications, but virtually nobody shares our moral assumptions.

So we handle notions of instrumentality in a totally different way. For us, reality itself is an instrument for something else. We can grasp the instrumentality others see, and even deduce when they lie about it, including when they deceive themselves. We remember what Jesus said about Solomon in all his regal glory unable to match the simple beauty in God’s creation, and that we might sow and reap, but remain deeply attached to the freewheeling spirit of the birds God feeds (Matthew 6:25-34). He didn’t say neglect human concerns, but to trust the Father and put things in a moral perspective that isn’t tied to material considerations. We reject lazy selfish indulgence and fearful materialistic thrift as two sides of the same lie.

We don’t care about what other people care about. And in a certain sense, we could care less that they do so care. But in another sense, we grieve over the “hardness of their hearts.” Actually, that’s a bad translation from a foreign idiom; we should read that as “hardened against their own hearts.” It means refusing to let your moral discernment guide you, and relying on materialistic human logic instead. It implies a complete lack of awareness of the heart-mind.

So we don’t have to debate with Cultural Marxists, but we do need to spend some time learning to recognize false consensus. We need to develop a talent for expressing a complete lack of interest in what drives them. Don’t engage them on their level because their whole strategy depends on dragging you onto their preferred battlefield. They are swine unworthy of your pearls of divine wisdom. So long as they root like pigs in the mud, kick them aside. Rude and blunt rejection tends to work well, while refusing to answer any questions that don’t serve your higher purpose. Like a patient adult waiting for a ranting child to calm down, we calmly stare until they say something we want to discuss. You do it all without the slightest hint of feeling, though I find a slight expression of amusement works well. They make themselves unworthy of taking seriously.

That does mean you’ll have to prepare for all the nasty human consequences of pissing them off, but that was the whole point in the first place. Ignore them when you can, but be ready to stand for God’s truth at whatever cost. Don’t invest yourself into some fictional deep concern for things they control. God will take care of the consequences long term. Recall the third pillar of Christian Mysticism: disentanglement.

We build our expectations on God’s promises.

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Not What It Seems

Just a short reminder that most of the dramatic events making the news are not what they seem. However, I suppose by now you’ve discerned that whatever we are supposed to take as “terrorism” is coming to a theater near you. That is, the drama will be spread across Europe and North America. Probably a few other places, but in one form or another, with one mask or another, the time has come for amping up the fear factor.

I won’t try to bury this under a long discussion of who is doing what and why. All you need to know is that it’s very real violence and death and destruction, but it’s being guided by the people we elected to office in one way or another. It’s your tax money paying for it. I’ve already made note that The Cult made sure we would not be allowed to have good and decent people in government. Only criminals are allowed to run for office or be appointed. Despite appearances to the contrary, the whole thing is staged.

This is our “normal” and we need to get past that in our minds so we can discern the hand of God and exploit things for His glory. As much as possible, shed your fears and face the task so you can finish and go Home to be with the Lord. Nothing else you can do will be half so much a blessing to those left behind.

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Turn on the Light

It’s time for the grand opening. Spread the word.

I’m all in, not hedging my bets or anything else. This virtual parish is all I do or want to do; no other claim to fame.

There were a couple of times in the past that I got noticed by a large number of people when I was doing other things. It was brief, but ended up being more than I wanted or needed. It’s okay for folks to know there is somebody doing something that helps people, but actual fame is not for me.

So I want you to steal my ideas. Heck, steal my words if you really can’t come up with your own, but I want this message to spread. I hereby absolve you of all plagiarizing charges beforehand. On the other hand, I suppose some of you will have to provide a link if you don’t write your own version, so do what makes the most sense to you. But try to keep in mind that we aren’t promoting Brother Ed, but something he believes. Promote only what is real to you.

I am encouraging you to do what you can to share your faith and heart-led existence. Nobody else is doing this, so far as I can tell. You can be as coy as you think fits the context, or as brash and loud as your faith will allow. I’m not in charge, but I am convinced God is ready to move ahead of us into our world and His Spirit is already shaking folks loose from their old ways of living. I’m hoping you’ll sense this same move of the Spirit and want to latch onto your share of His glory.

If you want me to produce pamphlets from past articles, send me a link to the post and I’ll rewrite it and format as PDF, HTML or whatever suits your need. I can also excerpt portions of my books. It’s not as if I can’t improve and polish stuff I’ve already published. We have some PDFs here if you want a reminder. Click on the tab up at the top for the Radix Fidem page and you can find a link to a tri-fold PDF outlining the peculiar religion I teach here. Whatever it is, if you can tell me what it needs, I’ll do what I can. Sign your own name to it if you believe it and can explain it to someone else; I honestly don’t care. I’ll play ghostwriter for you. I believe in the power of His moral character to steer you right.

At the same time, don’t violate your own sense of moral character. I’m not prodding you to obey my personal vision and do something unnatural for you. Don’t cop to any false guilt; some of you are already active. Some of you are waiting on something; I’m asking you to pray and sense it for yourself. Be ready to let God use you, too. The harvest time is ready to begin and this thing is mature enough to stand on its own. We are going with full throttle. Don’t spam any mailing lists, forums or anything like that. Don’t be pushy and annoying, but be ready to share when someone opens to door for it.

Live it, then talk about it.

(Addenda for legal eagles: The faith and religion I espouse cannot be copyrighted. I suppose we could wrangle over terminology and names or labels, but the reality behind it is God’s idea, not mine. Anything that promotes or formulates my religion is fair game for anyone else to use because it belongs to everybody and nobody on this earth.)

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Cycling: Draper Adventures (Updated)

ME-VehiclesDraperAnother day of stiff southerly winds, by heading to Draper Lake it was rather like riding up a long, long hill, then rolling back down. I came in by way of the bike path from the northwest corner. Immediately I spotted a cluster of vehicles in the grass along the east side of the main road. You can’t see it in the picture, but off to the left of this scene in a low spot are several more such vehicles and some crime scene tape strung between trees. Now, it’s just possible this was a training exercise, since there were no news station vehicles in attendance. NewRoadDraperNHowever, when I had completely circled the lake and was on my way out, they were still there. Nothing on the news yet, but I’ll keep watching the next day or two. Strange stuff has happened out there before.

Having almost completed that circuit, I was approaching my left turn to follow Draper Lake Drive around the north end when I saw evidence of bulldozer work at the corner. Down a bit were some barricades saying the road was closed. Farther yet were some trucks and very large earth moving equipment waiting on the side of the pavement. I could see a very wide path was being plowed off at an angle through the woods. Taking a bit of risk, I bypassed the barricades and zipped past all the equipment. However, I was able to make out a rough estimate of the path they were following. It was obviously a road because it was so very straight and wide, with a very gentle curve at the far horizon.NorthDraperLake I put some blue paint on the image to indicate my estimate of the new roadbed near the eastern arm of the lake.

Because it is so hilly, I’m pretty sure this will be massaged to reduce the grade of climb, but the whole point seems to be dodging that one section right down next to the water’s edge. Aerial photography doesn’t show how there is a very steep climb up a ridge right at the corner where the road turns from straight east-west to a northerly track. Right at the turn, the grade drops steeply back down to near the high-water mark. That road had been under water more than once, and it is coming apart. So this new route should resolve that issue, and they are going all out with a full ripping out of the old road soon. The new route comes across one curve and then makes it a little straighter. At any rate, with all the activity I decided to not stop and attract too much attention, and took the shot of the plowed path from the top of a hill near the end of this mess. Had it been necessary, I would have simply carried my bike on a wood path, since the place is shot through with them.

Meanwhile, I noticed that the aircraft from Tinker were taking advantage of the winds and doing all their landing and take-offs facing south. That meant roaring into the sky overhead for folks out around Draper. During my passage I saw a small trainer (probably an old T-38 Talon), a B-1 bomber, B-52, and a KC-135 before I was too far to look back over my shoulder. It was a fast and furious wind-aided ride home.

Update: As I expected, the Medical Examiner’s Office found human remains out the lake. Story is here: ME: Human Remains Found At Lake Stanley Draper. You can probably match the aerial photo against mine.

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Church Ball-n-Chain

Church politics has not been good to me.

I’m gazing back over the wreckage of my life seeking entrance into the ranks of professional ministry. It would be easy to oversimplify and note that God never intended me to succeed at that game. At the same time, I know with a certainty that I was supposed to try so that I could be touched and changed by a particular kind of failure. None of that absolves the people who used and abused me along the way.

It’s not as if I wasn’t up to the par of those I worked with, but that was never really the question. Most people who spend time in the conditioning process of church activities can find their place; it requires no phenomenal talents that your average Christian can’t summon. Mostly it’s a matter of conviction, from whatever source, that you should be doing that work. You can’t just shove the discussion aside with God-talk, but most do that because it justifies their relative success as humans measure such things: admiration, influence, and some measure of wealth. I came close to those things at various times and it kept me believing that somewhere around the next corner I would be established as one them.

One of the greatest single causes of repeated failure was this thing in my soul that would come rushing to the front at those critical junctures. Like any human, I can find myself moved to lie and deceive about things, but at those singular moments on some threshold, I would speak with grave honesty among people who had something to fear from such frankness. With typical social conditioning, you might suggest I was offering the wrong kind of truth, but I would counter that my heart demanded it. If it shattered the illusions of the moment, then I would insist that it was the hand of God revealing to me in that moment just how deluded the whole system was. It’s not a question of whether folks want to know, but a matter of throwing pearls to swine.

That is, the question wasn’t whether they were swine — we all are in one way or another — but whether people understood the value of what was offered. Operating in a system that makes no room for honesty, a system that is fragile at those points most in need of God’s moral redemption, was the real problem. I didn’t fit. At some point I realized that I could not fit, and the system was not going to change. The people involved were too deeply invested in that broken system where self-disclosure was “inappropriate.” They weren’t morally better, but were unable or unwilling to look in the mirror the same way I did and refused to make allowances for how it opened the doors to moral integrity. They couldn’t cross over with me.

In my own mind, I was trying to point out the miracles of redemption in my life. I was lifting up the glory of God, but all they received was the shock of having to recognize that I was just an ordinary man. The professional ministry was founded on the illusion that some of us were somehow a cut above the common rabble. We were supposed to be “holy” using a definition that was inherently unholy.

At this point, I gain nothing by condemning them. The tears have evaporated and I am here instead of there. But for once, I know where I am supposed to be, and my impulsive honesty is not a hindrance. Now I have new tears because I see that a lot of people I still care about are stuck in a meat-grinder that comes with the collapse of the world they failed to leave. But I still want them to see and escape and join me at whatever point they can, and salvage whatever is left of their souls. Yes, I know many will go down with the system. There is no joy in watching those who closed the door on me refuse my hand of rescue.

My humanity finds it rather odd to be in this position, where for once in my life, my impulses are correct and God grants me peace I cannot describe. Granted, this is the wrong place for a lot of other folks, but I still want them to have that peace. I forgive because it’s part of that peace and I can’t find whatever it is that breathes life into ungracious gloating. I’m still no better, just very fortunate, and it’s a fortune that’s available to anyone who wants it. I’ve found that Pearl of Great Price for which I long searched. Some of them are not ready, not able or willing, to shed that pigskin and see the value.

They are still trapped in church politics. But I’m still hoping some of them work it out before it’s too late. They were as much victims as I was and I sense that I was granted an early rescue for their sakes.

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Cycling: Far North Hills

OK-RivRowingI went out Saturday and only got a couple of shots. There was a bit of rowing competition, but I couldn’t find a good place to stop and shoot until up near the finish line at the boathouse. The races row upriver. To make up for it, I stopped and captured this carpet of spring flowers just a little ways beyond the race courseOK-RivFlowers (image to the right).

Today’s ride was in high winds, but I needed the time out alone. Thus, I rode north on Midwest Boulevard to Memorial, turned east and followed it to Douglas Boulevard where it turns north around the south end of the Lake Arcadia. At NE 150th it curves back east. NE150thI stayed on this all the way to Hiwasse Road. It was one serious hill after another (image to the left). There was also a lot of opulence, but materialism isn’t my thing. I was more impressed with this natural draw on a tributary to the Deep Fork River (image to the right). Draw-150thnPost Above that was a very much artificial dam and a beautiful little pond (below left). This was all done in preparation for a huge housing tract being cleared as I passed. Based on the apparent layout, I’d say this was more of the McMansion type of stuff. However, I also passed a couple of developments that were clearly custom-made castles. Pond-150thnPost

At some point the castles sort of disappeared and I saw quite a few old farm and ranch places, about half with just a mobile home. The pattern seemed to be that high ridges were adorned with castles, most of which were at least partially visible from the road. Any place where the slopes were more gentle was the older homesteads.ToughParking However, in terms of riding experience it was delightfully brutal, as I had to shift down to my smallest chainring on every climb. This, while the wind hit me mostly from the side. Near the end of this section I spotted this truck that had been parked in a highly irregular fashion.

Turning south on Hiwasee was when this ride turned into a grinding slog against the stiff headwinds. Even shallow climbs required lower gears. A few downslopes were actually no easier than flat ground would normally be. So for the next 15 miles or so, I was mostly in B-3 except when I was forced down into A-3.Pond-MemnHiwasee This pond (left) was the last fresh scene before I crested the divide between Deep Fork and North Canadian watersheds. Everything else is pretty well pictured in previous cycling posts here. I rolled on down to Britton Road and turned west, staying on it as it become the long angled Spencer-Jones Road. I noticed this fine old house sitting there, normally covered in vines and weeds, but just visible still at this point early in our spring (image right).OldHouse-SpencerJonesRd

The hills were gone but it was still a long slow slog. I turned off Spencer-Jones Road on NE 63rd and stayed with it all the way back to Midwest Boulevard. Along the way, I noticed a couple of abandoned houses had been flattened and even the trees around them had been uprooted. Just a ways farther was this scene; I don’t recall seeing it on the news, but it had burned sometime since my last time passing by here.8500blkNE63rd It was a grand old house; I recall rumors of a long legal dispute between the heirs but I suppose that’s all settled now. The inheritance would cost more to rebuild than to start from scratch.

Tough workout, just about 33 miles.

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Just One

That’s all it takes. So long as just one person benefits from what I do, and I get enough feedback to know about it, I’ll keep doing this. Of course, as long as it’s this easy, I’d do it for my own sense of peace. That’s how this blog started 7+ years ago. But should stuff start happening to make it more expensive and more work, I might not be so eager to write and publish just for my own sanity. But for the sake of one person who tells me they are blessed, I’d be willing to put up a fight for this ministry.

As it is, out of 700+ subscribers, a dozen or so offer enough feedback to register on my awareness as “active associates” on this blog. That’s a lot more than I ever dreamed, so it’s all good. I’m not alone and that means I’m in a position to handle a lot of pressure before shutting things down.

This ministry is far more than just yours truly. I might be making the most noise online, but this is not about me. Bigger numbers (and fame and money) is not the issue; bigger impact is a my prayer request. More people finding their hearts and learning to listen to God through their convictions is what I’m after. This is what we share, not merely a bunch of opinionated chatter from me. I’m your cheerleader. It just so happens that this thing we share puts us way outside the mainstream. Not that paying attention to my drivel will force you to leave your church or any other religious organization, but you can probably see that you aren’t always right on the same sheet of music as the rest of the folks in your meat-space groups. But that’s between you and God and I’m not interested in driving any wedges. I just want you to know God like I know God so He can lead you where He wants you.

So whether this ministry ever got bigger in terms of numbers, our prayers should aim for more influence. What do you suppose would come with that? What happens if this teaching about heart-led living takes on a higher profile? Yes, I’m convinced it means folks will depart from Western cerebral Christian religion and Dispensational teaching, but those are symptoms that tend to get notice.

At least some of those folks will touch base here simply because search engines lead them here. Depending on what they look for, they’ll find us. That shows up every day in my stats here. People are already starting to look for certain key phrases and God is leading them here. But for every dozen or so of them, there is typically one that ain’t so glad to see this blog and what it teaches. That’s not just trolls, but actual enemies. Would you believe I’ve run across some really ugly reviews of some of my books and other writings? (Oh! My wounded ego!) That’s low-level conflict in virtual terms. What happens when more folks, and more important folks, start echoing with approval the stuff they find here?

I’ve told you I’m convinced the biggest threat to us is conservative mainstream Christianity. Not so much because they would go out of their way to attack us, but their attention brings political Zionist attention. That means folks with money and power.

It’s my guess they won’t notice us anytime soon because they’ll have other problems to deal with first. Whatever it is they’ve been doing has purchased an awful big store of God’s wrath, and He typically hits this kind of thing very publicly when His patience runs out. So their numbers will be rather like a big chunk of sandstone that suddenly starts to crumble in their hands and runs through their fingers. They’ll panic and squeeze tight, which only makes things worse. If you think whistle blowers are having it rough, wait until you see how Zionists treat deserters.

So when a large thing like that comes apart, what would you expect all those refugees to do? A bunch of them would start blogging; that’s common with our current society. And a bunch of them would end up here at WordPress and start blogging about their bad experiences in the various kinds of Zionist organizations (including mainstream churches). Church leaders might be careful; you’ll notice that, aside from the outcry on my original negative review here, Life Church has never done a thing to me. But what if I were to start spilling insider information about, say, CUFI (Hagee’s Christians United for Israel)? What if literally hundreds of new blogs opened up talking bad about CUFI? Or AIPAC, or ADL, or any number of other such advocacy groups? I happen to know already that the farther you get from heart-led truth, the more likely corruption and abuses will creep into an organization.

I can see some wealthy Zionist or Neocon supporter buying out WordPress with lots of nasty legal leverage to make it hurt. Failing that, he might buy some legislation or maybe even whomever owns WordPress. Might change the rules for what you can post, no? I doubt they could simply shut down the Internet, but they would probably try lots of crazy stuff short of that. Still, I suppose this blog would go down with a lot of others. We have the other blog, Kiln of the Soul (edit: now closed), and I imagine some of you would simply change your favorites or bookmarks accordingly and we would continue as before (I’d have to change to a different blog platform, of course). People who consider me a friend worth their time, or simply in need of what we do here, would be a smaller number of subscribers, but that’s just the way it goes. Meanwhile, folks who came here after fleeing that kind of oppression would be more likely to fight and hang with us.

Maybe that’s when the partisans would notice us and take other forms of action. That’s too far out to estimate, but the previous scenario strikes me as very plausible. And by then I’d probably find a need for other kinds of services to accommodate healing for a larger group, but that would depend on what kind of help they ask for. I don’t need it right now, but for a whole lot less money than someone spends to shut us up, I can keep this thing running and pretty loud. My heart tells me that if it gets rough, the support will be there to keep blessing folks in need.

But if it were just one, I’d still be online somewhere blathering about whatever splashes out from the overflow of my soul.

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